The Super Bowl really couldn’t be more of a lose-lose for the Philadelphia Eagles and their fan base. That should be us out there. That should have been us taking on the New England Patriots, with an opportunity for revenge.
But it’s not. The Eagles didn’t even make the playoffs, and like most of their fan base, I may never get over the 2011 season for as long as I live.
So anyway, it’s time to dissect the Super Bowl between the Giants and the Patriots. Here are ten random predictions for the game.
1) Justin Tuck will deliver a late hit on Tom Brady in the first quarter that will knock the Patriots quarterback out of the game–for one play. But Brady will return, as it was only the wind that was knocked out of him.
2) Bill Belichick will go for 4th down five different times throughout the game, including a 4th and 9 from midfield right before halftime.
3) Chad Ochocinco will have an impact on the game–somewhat. He’ll catch three passes for 42 yards and will play in 16 offensive plays.
4) Newly promoted defensive end Alex Silvestro will record a third-quarter sack on Eli Manning, an improbably occurrence for a player who was on the practice squad just yesterday.
5) Vince Wilfork will swallow up the Giants’ running backs on three different 3rd and 1 situations.
6) Rob Gronkowski will play in 43 offensive plays for the Patriots, about two-thirds of the plays. But he’ll catch just three passes for 46 yards, and will drop a costly touchdown in the fourth quarter.
7) Wes Welker will grab nine balls for 114 yards, and Aaron Hernandez will catch six for 83. The injury to Gronk won’t impact the game as much as everybody thought.
8) A 14-14 game entering the fourth quarter will turn into a shootout, with more combined points being scored in the fourth quarter than in the first three quarters combined. The Giants will take a 21-14 lead early in the fourth quarter. The Patriots will tie it at 21 on a touchdown pass to Deion Branch. The Giants will add a field goal with seven minutes left in the fourth quarter but the Patriots will counter on a long touchdown pass to Aaron Hernandez with three minutes left in the game. That will set stage for yet another Eli Manning drive. Which will end with….
9) The Giants winning 31-28 on a walkoff 11-yard touchdown pass from Eli Manning to Victor Cruz. The play will make what happened with David Tyree and Plaxico Burress in Super Bowl XLII look like child’s play.
10) Victor Cruz wins the Super Bowl MVP award after an eight-catch, 154-yard, two-touchdown performance, including arguably the greatest and most memorable touchdown in the history of the National Football League. This completes one of the most ridiculous storybook seasons by a player in the history of sports, as Cruz was a literal nobody at the start of the season and is now a top five wide receiver in the NFL. It will also cement a Hall of Fame berth for Eli Manning and Tom Coughlin, and yes, it will severely hurt Tom Brady’s reputation, even though he will throw for 304 yards and three touchdowns.