Former Michigan Wolverines and NBA journeyman guard Jalen Rose is clinging to the glory days like every middle-aged armchair quarterback in America. Rose was part of the “Fab Five” team at Michigan that choked in two straight NCAA basketball championship games in the early 1990s and then had their awards and honors vacated after the Fab Five Scandal. He was never any good in the NBA and he’s trying to keep Michigan’s Fab Five popular in any shape, form or fashion. However, this time it’s coming at the expense of the USA women’s gymnastics team.
Five superstar gymnasts have performed extremely well in the 2012 London Olymics, earning the nickname “Fab Five” along the way. Whether or not that nickname came from anyone who had any knowledge of Michigan’s Fab Five is irrelevant. The fact Rose is trying to take the spotlight from Jordyn Wieber, Gabby Douglas, Kyla Ross, Alexandra Raisman and McKayla Maroney is sickening.
“To use the nickname just points and screams of lazy journalism by the national media, that’s really what it is,” Rose said. “It’s no fault at all of the young gymnasts. But I really wish they would have come up with an even more creative tag for them and their gold medal pursuit.”
It may not be the fault of the new and classier Fab Five, but they shouldn’t have to even acknowledge what Rose calls the “original Fab Five.” These girls should have received a “more creative tag”?! C’mon, man!
What should we call them then, Rose; the Ferocious Five? They’re 15-year-old girls! The only people who find them ferocious are 12-year-old boys who just hit puberty.
Nicknames like these are way more catchy if they’re alliterations, hence the sarcastic suggestion in the previous sentence. The word “fab” is certainly more applicable to a group of girls who dress up in sparkly leotards and throw their hands in the air after flipping and twisting gracefully across the floor or balance beam. After the scandal involving Michigan Fab Five member Chris Webber, perhaps we should title the gymnastics team the “original Fab Five” and rename the Michigan outcasts the “Fake Five.”
This is the problem with former athletes as broadcasters, and especially those who weren’t any good in their respective sport; they feel this sense of self-entitlement long after their day has passed. Rose is clinging to the popularity Michigan’s Fab Five brought him 20 years ago instead of moving on with his life and letting these girls enjoy their gold medal moment. They’re representing their country, not their fresh fade. Get over yourself, dude.