Boston University Hockey Scandal: Sex is not a trophy.

By John Gorman

So, the Boston Globe got it’s hands on some private documents supporting a Boston University report on the hockey team’s “Culture of Sexual Entitlement.” Now, the Globe buried the lead including “Project X”-like accounts of hard partying and class-skipping, but there’s some truly disgusting behavior on display by the school’s hockey club.

The devil’s in the  under-reported details of the Boston University Hockey Scandal. And, the devils wear ice skates. To wit:

When Boston University released its report Wednesday on hockey players’ “culture of sexual entitlement,” it kept most of the investigation details — including accounts of sexual debauchery and wide-ranging allegations of academic trouble — confined to confidential subcommittee reports.

The task force was launched in February after two BU hockey players were charged with sexual assault. Its public report made 14 sweeping recommendations, which the school intends to implement.

The subcommittee documents make clear that at least some BU hockey players, surrounded by adoring fans, had “the perception that they need not seek consent for sexual contact.”

One player came close to admitting that. “You don’t ask [permission for sex] when you are drunk,” he told the task force, adding that he did not see how the actions of the two players charged last year constituted sexual assault.

Another player used two slurs to describe women who “hook up with multiple guys,” then wondered, “What other word for them is there?”

A female student told the task force that a player had shoved his hands down her pants at a party and refused to stop even as she was punching him. She did not report the incident to authorities because, she said, “that’s just what [BU hockey players] do.”

Another told of a Facebook posting “in which hockey players boast about their sexual exploits,” referring to conquests as “kills.”

Nice to know a “Culture of Sexual Entitlement” is a culture with which Boston University seems comfortable. There’s evidence contained in the report that the long-time BU Coach was aware of the alleged sexual assaults that took place, and made no attempt to notify authorities or, heaven forbid, even University officials. If that sounds a lot like Penn State, that’s because it should. It’s malicious oversight on the highest level, and grounds for legacy tarnishment, if not criminal prosecution.

Of course, it probably won’t receive as much blowback as the Penn State story, because Boston University hockey isn’t as notorious as the Joe Paterno-led Penn State football program, and because if you replace the word “children” with “women” suddenly we conveniently have access to a bunch of rugs under which we can sweep things.

Two BU hockey players were charged with sexual assault. The charges have already been filed and the arrests were made over six months ago. And, yet, I’ll bet this is the first you’re hearing about it.

And I’ll bet you’ll never hear about the “14 Sweeping Recommendations” (they aren’t available at the Boston Globe) because I’m sure they don’t quite go far enough. But if you include the word “Sweeping”, that’s supposed to be enough to placate the masses into thinking enough’s being done.

Something should be. And it starts with how we raise our sons. Our boys who will one day become men.

One day, your boys are going to get old enough where sex will be on the table. It’ll probably happen earlier than you would like. Maybe 14, 15, 16 years old. By that point, you better make damn sure you’ve done enough. You’ve got to let them know they need to ask, and they need to know for damn sure the answer’s yes.

You’ve got to let them know sex is not a birthright, it’s not a status symbol, it’s not a reward for being better than most at squeezing a puck past a goalkeeper (not a euphemism). It’s a joint decision, and a big one, one that has meaning and consequence.

You’ve got to let them know being drunk is no excuse not to be on the right side of that ‘ask.’ Tell them if you don’t think you can handle the “ask” (which happens before every encounter, whether explicitly or implicitly) while boozed up, then you better ease off the sauce. Just like you wouldn’t get behind the wheel of a car after imbibing, you probably shouldn’t attempt to hop beneath the bedsheets, either. Tell your boys, folks. Tell them. They’re going to be big boys … grown men … act as such.

And if you mess that part up, if you as parents didn’t have the good sense to teach you the most basic core values of male decency, or if you did and they just didn’t listen, then they damn well better know to not go blaming the gal. You don’t go saying, “Well, Joe and Mike got with Amanda so I thought I should, too.” You don’t go around calling girls “sluts” and “whores” and whatever other colorful word you want to use to express your displeasure that you were shown the front door instead of being shown the bedroom door.

Because, fellas, let me tell you, you aren’t entitled to anything in this world. Least of all, you aren’t entitled to that. You don’t just get that because you want it. I don’t care how much money you think you’re about to make in the NHL.

Sex is not a reward. It’s a decision. A decision that’s only half yours to make … and your “yes” doesn’t count as a majority decision. It’s a tie vote, which means “no.” See, unlike hockey, a tie doesn’t earn you any points.

And you don’t refer to “sexual exploits” as “kills.” I’m sorry, but this is not the Vietcong or Al-Qaeda. You are not at war with women, and if you are, you’re doing it flat wrong. And you’re the worst kind of human being for doing so.

Lastly, I want to repeat the most important line of this report, because there’s a special place in hell reserved for the type of men who do this:

A female student told the task force that a player had shoved his hands down her pants at a party and refused to stop even as she was punching him. She did not report the incident to authorities because, she said, “that’s just what [BU hockey players] do.”

If you’re being “punched,” I’ve got news for you, son: That’s a no. That’s the most flagrant “no” short of a woman taking a flaming steak knife to your man-region. If you can’t respect that, then, I don’t want you anywhere near a hockey rink, I don’t want you anywhere near my daughter and I don’t want you anywhere near any pursuit where you have the opportunity to come out looking clean as a whistle and revered as anything other than the most monstrous scum this world has ever seen.

I don’t want there to be a Boston University hockey team if “that’s just what [BU hockey players] do.” I don’t want there to be hockey teams if that’s “just what they do.” Because what “they” do is the most evil illustration of sub-human sleeze one could possibly conjure up. And to know that it’s real? That these foul creatures live and breathe and walk among us?

Son, you’re not a hockey player. You’re not human. You’re not a man. You’re an entitled, insecure, disrespectful, disgusting, reprehensible abomination of cells and organs. And I hope you rot forever in a cold, cold hell much more frigid than the frozen ice upon which you never deserve to set foot upon again.

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