Fantasy WAGs: These Hot WAGs Are All 1st-Round Picks
Fantasy WAGs: These Hot WAGs Are All 1st-Round Picks
Oh, the life of a professional athlete must be awful.
First there's the money. A lot of money. Even for some of the "no name" players sucking it up farther down the depth charts there's plenty of green to go around. For what it's worth, the average salary in NBA is over $5 million, while MLB players make an average of $3.3 million. Rounding out the North American sports leagues is the NHL, where players rack up an average of $2.4 million and the NFL where guys make almost $2 million on average.
Then there's the fame. I used to work at a restaurant that would lock the doors when the defensive line for the Cincinnati Bengals dined there. So you don't have to be Tom Brady to throw the weight of being a pro athlete around.
It's really just simple math at this point then. Money + fame = girls. Everywhere.
You don't even have to be a good professional player to land a gorgeous Victoria's Secret lingerie model or a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover model. Or... I could go on, but it just saddens me that a guy like Kris Humphries can land a lady like she-who-I-shall-not-name. I don't have many rules, but I refuse to add to the Google relevance of that woman.
So who is the hottest of the hot? The sexiest of the sexy? Here are our first round picks—our top fantasy WAGs around.
Some of you may remember the stunning Torrie Wilson from her days as a WWE Diva. Or from that one time she posed in Playboy. She's received just as much fame recently for her love-connection with ARod however.
Oh, Olivia Munn. You know how to cut straight to the heart of me. And probably just about every other male with a pulse and a thing for "nerdy" girls. I could fall asleep arguing over comics every night, no problem.
Munn gets around a bit, but was spotted going out with New York Rangers center/millionaire Brad Richards for a few months... which is good enough of an excuse to put her on this list.
Russian and Swedish? That's just unfair.
I would like to thank Canada for ice hockey. And Larisa Fraser.
Ryan Braun would be a fool to drop the ball on this one. (I know, I know. I'm saving up money to go to Pun School right now.)
Kate Upton is one of the most beautiful women on the planet, and has been connected to Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander.
I don't have a thing for country music at all, but Jessie James might have just the right... talent package to change that. Eric Decker of the Denver Broncos is clearly a fan of the alt-country invasion.
I suppose if I were him, I would be too.
I know I'm getting old when I'm thinking of Jessica Simpson as an "oldie but a goody."
After things mercifully ended between her and Tony Romo, she ended up with Eric Johnson... which had to be the statistical favorite for "name of Simpson's next boyfriend."
I'm all for a British invasion if the beautiful Jennifer Ellison is a part of it. I'm not always partial to blondes, but when I am, it's for blondes like Ellison. Rob Tickle, a semi-pro boxer, clearly agrees as he wifed that in 2009.
Jaime Edmondson provided a unique problem for me while creating this slideshow in that she very rarely poses with her clothes on. Luckily for you, I searched and searched and finally came up with this gem.
Edmondson recently had a child with Tampa Bay Not-Devil Rays third basemen Evan Longoria.
Soccer players arguably boast the strongest WAG stable out of all pro-sports. I present for your consideration article A... Irina Shayk. She's been connected to Cristiano Ronaldo. Now pretend to care.
Hilary Duff is among the most recognizable and famous WAGs out there. Her husband Mike Comrie retired from the NHL at the ripe age of 31—presumably to just hang out and be rich with the misses.
It must suck when everyone is stoked that you and your girlfriend broke up. That's what Scotty McKnight must have had to deal with after splitting with Hayden Panettiere.
It wouldn't be a WAG list worth its weight in coding if it didn't include Gisele Bundchen. The ultra-rich, super-successful model forms one of the most powerful and rich celebrity couples with Tom Brady. Who I do not hate (I swear).
I know what you're wondering so I'll alleviate the tension now. Yes. Giorgia Palmas has been known to pose without a shirt on. Who can blame her?
Proof of soccer players landing the hottest WAGs around, article two. Thanks Davide Bombardini.
What can I say, I'm a sucker for trashy tattoos. Federica Nargi clearly has nothing else going for her.
Shockingly, she's been connected to soccer player Alessandro Matri. Exhibit three. Shall I rest my case?
It's no wonder Mark Sanchez's game went to hell. Getting dumped by a woman like Eva Longoria has to make for some long nights. The realization that it's all downhill from there can be a rough one.
I've always had this odd attraction to Susan Sarandon. I doubt I'm alone there. So needless to say when her rockin' daughter started popping up in her underwear it was glorious.
Kyle Martino is a soccer player, and married
Eva Amurri. Shocking.
Back in 2009 Maxim listed Eliza Dushku as the sixth hottest woman on the face of the planet. Criminally low, if you ask me. How is she not a top-five? That's neither here nor there.
The former Buffy the Vampire Slayeractress has been living with Rick Fox since 2009.
Am I the only one that thought the Girl Next Doorwas an underrated and funny movie? Clearly not, as Dion Phaneuf of the Toronto Maple Leafs has had plenty of time while not making the playoffs to memorize every line of the flick, which starred Elisha Cuthbert.
Ciara Price is another WAG that doesn't like to be photographed while wearing clothes. The paparazzi won't stalk you if you just show if off, I suppose. Price is rumored to be hanging around Boston Bruins young star Tyler Seguin. Why he'd keep that a secret is beyond me.
Carrie Underwoodmarried pro-hockey player Mike Fisher, giving NHL players enough ammo to hang with the soccer players. Except not really.
Rory McIlroy gets the golfers on the board, as he's been connected to tennis beauty Caroline Wozniacki. The two may or may not be engaged.
After Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson split, the Dallas Cowboys QB didn't waste much time before re-blonding up with Candice Crawford. I wouldn't say that he traded up, but he certainly didn't trade down either.
Brooklyn Decker was Miss. Sports Illustrated before Kate Upton abused the physics of dance to high jack that title. She's still a stunning woman, and has been married to now-retired tennis pro Andy Roddick since 2009.
Shaun White is arguably the biggest star the X-Games have ever produced, so it's only fitting that the snowboarder landed a supermodel girlfriend like Bar Refaeli. Hey, you could do a lot worse than batting cleanup for Leo DiCaprio.
Anna Burns Welker
Wes Welker is obviously as good at catching 10's as he is at catching passes on the field for the New England Patriots (or whoever he ends up playing for in 2013.) He married Anna Burns Welker last year.
Anine Bing is just a fitting name for a bombshell like this I feel. Alarmingly, she's been connected to footballer Anders Svensson. Tell me, is there some kind of secret Facebook-like website where models and soccer players meet?
Is there a more classic example of a WAG than Adriana Lima? At this point I'm going to have to go with a no...
Vanessa Bryant and Kobe Bryant have had their issues in the past, but that doesn't mean she shouldn't be included on this list.
Tyra Banks and Chris Webber once dated. The key word is once, but the supermodel still belongs in the discussion.
Kris Humphries blew it with Kim Kardashian. Oh well.
Gemma Atkinson was once linked to Cristiano Ronaldo.
You know the whole story about Elin Nordegren and Tiger Woods.
Kate Hudson and Alex Rodriguez were once together. Key word is once, but the bottom list is she still belongs on this list.
One-time Spice Girl, full-time WAG.
She's with Jay Cutler.
Most people know who Lauren Tannehill is and it's obviously as to why.
Lala Vasquez Anthony
No honey nut cheerios jokes here.