15 Dumbest Professional Athletes of All Time
Dumbest Athletes in Sports
The phrase “student –athlete” has become an oxymoron as more and more collegiate players are sacrificing academics for athletic glory. There are a few examples like Jeremy Lin (Harvard grad) and Andrew Luck (Stanford grad) among others, who stayed all four years and received a degree from universities with incredible academic requirements – but they are rare exceptions.
Unfortunately, the trend has translated well into professional arenas. For the most part, professional athletes make ridiculous sums of money, but are unable to spell “ridiculous”. They often repeat the same mistakes over and over again, yet their abilities on the field allow them two or three … or six do-overs.
This is not a new phenomenon. Athletes have been stupid for a while. These are the 15 dumbest professional athletes of all time.
This is not just a list of pros who have had legal issues with drugs, firearms and fights, etc. Though the players who fall under this category are stupid indeed, if it were that kind of list, there would be way more than 15 guys on it. Rather, it’s a list of players who have had moments that cause us, as fans, to just sit there perplexed and think, “Why? Why would you do that? You idiot!”
We are all human beings and are prone to making mistakes, but these are blunders that could have (and should have) easily been avoided had they just stepped back for two seconds, took a deep breath and thought about what they were about to do.
If I missed any examples feel free to comment in the section below.
15. Ben Roethlisberger
Ben Roethlisberger has faced not one, but two sexual assault allegations. No one should ever resort to actions like that, especially not professional athletes. Does he not know he's won two Superbowls?
Furthermore, he was involved in a motorcycle accident in 2006. At the time he didn't have a valid motorcycle license, nor was he wearing a helmet.
14. Kevin Brown
Kevin Brown was a member of the New York Yankees in 2004. In early September, he had a bad start. So naturally, he punched a wall in frustration and broke his hand.
Luckily, he heeded the advice from "Bull Durham" and threw the punch with his non-throwing hand, but still, how stupid do you have to be to punch a wall at any time, let alone during a pennant race?
Maybe it was roid rage. Brown was later implicated in the Mitchell Report.
13. Bill Gramatica
Bill (not Martin) Gramatica was kicking for the Arizona Cardinals when he had the worst celebration in the history of sports.
He tore his ACL celebrating a 43-yard field goal the put his team up 3-0 -- with eight minutes remaining in the first quarter.
12. Zack Greinke
The Milwaukee Brewers acquired Zack Greinke in the winter of 2010 in a blockbuster trade. But the marquee piece of the deal wasn't ready for Opening Day 2011 -- because he injured his ribs playing pickup basketball.
Fast forward to April, 2013. Carlos Quentin charged the mound after Greinke plunked him in the elbow. To Greinke's credit, he held his ground and lowered his shoulder in Quentin. But his bravery led to a broken collar bone and more than a month on the DL. That's why pitchers are supposed to get out of the way of charging batters.
Hopefully, there will come a time when Greinke doesn't needlessly injure himself.
11. Ndamukong Suh
Suh stomped on Evan Dietrich-Smith, kicked Matt Schaub in the groin and has been penalized for late hit after late hit. Then he makes excuses and tries to act like a victim. Suh is dumbfounded every time he gets fined yet he continues to play dirty.
10. Dwight Howard
Free agency is a part of the NBA, but the way in which Howard went back and forth with the Orlando Magic lands him on this list. It was a soap opera. He clearly wanted to do what LeBron James did and go to a team with other All-Stars that he could win championships with, but didn’t want the hell-storm backlash that LeBron went through for leaving Cleveland. You can’t have it both ways.
But the worst thing he did was to go after Stan Van Gundy, and then act like the two of them were best buds as soon as the cameras were rolling.
I’m also going to settle the nickname debate right now. “LT” is not LaDainian Tomlinson; it’s Lawrence Taylor. The “Little Ball of Hate” is not Brad Marchand; it’s Pat Verbeek. Also, “Superman” is not Dwight Howard; it’s Shaquille O’Neal.
9. JaMarcus Russell
Russell has a reputation as a guy who is too dumb to run an NFL offense. While it’s debatable as to whether intelligence was to blame for his struggles on the field, it’s definitely to blame for his issues off the field.
In 2010, Russell was arrested for criminal possession of codeine syrup and admitted in an interview that he had tested positive for the substance prior to being drafted by the Oakland Raiders. Moreover, despite that massive rookie contract, he almost lost his home to foreclosure.
8. Fab Melo
Fab Melo missed the 2012 NCAA tournament due to academic ineligibility, and used the “I don’t speak English” excuse. After he got drafted by the Boston Celtics, he gave himself a concussion walking into a door frame.
Maybe he couldn’t read a sign that told him to duck.
7. Joba Chamberlain
Joba Chamberlain injured himself before the 2012 season playing on a trampoline.
Recently, he got into an argument with Mariano Rivera – Mariano freakin Rivera – in the dugout of Kauffman Stadium in Kansas City. Mo was being interviewed and simply asked Joba to lower his voice. Chamberlain responded by warning Rivera to “never shush me again.”
Ever the professional, Rivera later told the media that the Yankees are a family and everything was fine between them, but Chamberlain wouldn’t let it go. He pressed on, claiming that he never apologized to Rivera, and if the situation presented itself again, he would act in the same exact way.
Have some respect, idiot.
6. Keith Ballard
While a member of the Florida Panthers in 2009, Keith Ballard was frustrated about the Atlanta Thrashers scoring a goal. He went to break his stick across the goal but accidentally broke it over net minder Tomas Vokoun’s head.
To make matters worse, he saw Vokoun go down. Instead of helping him, he took a second swing at the post and skated away while his goalie was writhing in pain on the ice.
5. Mike Tyson
Mike Tyson has been involved in a plethora of legal issues, including rape and assault charges. After being hit in the head so many times and the amount of drugs that he's done, the man can barely form sentences.
4. Bobby Valentine
Bobby Valentine must really hate the Yankees. He claimed that after the attacks on September 11, 2001, the Yankees organization was nowhere to be found and did nothing to help the city heal.
First of all, you have to be pretty stupid to use the anniversary of the most horrific day in American history to take a jab at a former rival team. Second of all, he was completely wrong – the Yankees visited Ground Zero four days after the attacks, in addition to the Armory, Javits Center and St. Vincent’s Hospital.
3. Adam "Pacman" Jones
Adam “Pacman” Jones was involved in so many off-the-field altercations, he hired body guards to help prevent more in the future. Then in 2008, he fought his body guard – the same guy who was supposed to keep him out of trouble.
2. Alex Rodriguez
During the 2012 ALCS, Alex Rodriguez was busy chasing tail while the New York Yankees were being dominated by the Detroit Tigers. There’s no way he’s the first guy to pull the phone number on the baseball move, but he picked the absolute worst time to do it, considering he batted .111 in the series.
What is more, in addition to admitting PED use with the Texas Rangers, he was recently implicated in the Biogenesis scandal. Then, he tried to buy the evidence against him so that MLB couldn’t get it.
New York Yankees fans want to root for him but it’s impossible when he pulls stuff like this.
1. Plaxico Burress
Plaxico Burress’ first mistake: owning a gun illegally.
Plaxico Burress’ second mistake: wearing sweat pants to the club.
Plaxico Burress’ third mistake: bringing the illegally owned gun to the club and holding it in his sweatpants.
Plaxico Burress’ fourth mistake: shooting himself in the leg with the illegally owned gun in the club because he was holding it in his sweatpants.