30 Awesome Nicknames For Current Kansas City Chiefs Players

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30 Awesome Nicknames For Current Kansas City Chiefs Players

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

A great nickname can be a beautiful thing. They’re a lot of fun and endear the fans to the players. For some reason, there aren’t a lot of nicknames on the Kansas City Chiefs' roster ─ at least none that have caught on.

Next door at Kauffman Stadium, Kansas City Royals fans love doing their Moose call every time Mike Moustakas makes a play or comes up to bat. They also love using one of the great nicknames in all of sports with fan-favorite Billy Butler’s alias “Country Breakfast”. I don’t know why there are no good nicknames for Chiefs players, but I’m going to do my part to change that.

We need to come up with something better than D.J. for LB Derrick Johnson, or the overused Mr. Irrelevant for kicker Ryan Succop. We need names that are weird, memorable, and fun to say like ‘The Muscle Hamster’, except not quite so mean-spirited. For those who don’t know, Doug Martin’s nickname originated in college when his friends were making fun of his muscular-gymnast girlfriend. That’s pretty cruel, which is why Martin doesn’t like the name.

I won’t go that low for a name, but a few of these may be frowned upon by the players. And by all means, if you have any good ideas, please leave them in the comments. Let’s try to come up with something interesting. Nothing is too weird or stupid here, just as long as it isn’t something as boring as D-Bowe.

Aaron Charles is a Kansas City Chiefs writer for rantsports.com. Follow him on twitter @aaroncharleskc or add him to your network on Google

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30. FB Anthony Sherman: The Sher Thing

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Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Not only is he a sure thing, but he is also sort of built like the Thing from the Fantastic Four.

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29. G Jeff Allen: J.A. Shove-N-Stuff

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Jason Bridge-USA TODAY Sports

When healthy, Allen can shove and stuff with the best of them.

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28. G Jon Asamoah: Awesome-O

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Jason Bridge-USA TODAY Sports

It's a South Park reference, but even if it wasn't, it would still literally be an awesome name.

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27. QB Tyler 'You Did Some Pretty Stupid Things When You Were Young Too' Bray

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

Sends a message and rolls right off the tongue.

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26. DE Tyson Jackson: T.J. Max

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John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

It's not just a department store with reasonable prices anymore.

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25. QB Chase 'Stop Calling Me Daniels' Daniel

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

It's not just fans -- several broadcasters call the Mizzou great by the wrong name as well. Come on commentators, you do one game a week, get the names right.

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24. WR Dexter 'Too Tall' McCluster

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

Because he's not.

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23. RB Jamaal Charles: Charles In Charge

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

Pretty obvious here, but it fits too well. Nobody is more in charge than Charles.

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22. LT Branden Albert: The Branchise

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Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

This one probably wouldn't be endorsed by Albert himself as it makes light of his very public displeasure with receiving the franchise tag. Unfortunately for Albert, he could get it again next season.

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21. S Eric Berry: Crazy Horse

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

If you haven't seen the viral video documenting Berry's fear of horses, do yourself a favor and Google it. As a Chief, the Crazy Horse name fits on that level as well.

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20. LB Derrick Johnson: The No Fly Zone

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John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

As one of the greatest coverage linebackers in the league, you do not want to put the ball in the air near Johnson's territory.

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19. RT Eric Fisher: Real Big Fish

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

In case some need it explained, this one refers to the fact that Fisher is real big.

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18. TE Anthony Fasano: Fat Tony

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

It's okay to call people fat when they aren't, and it's also okay to use a Simpsons reference in any situation.

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17. P Dustin Colquitt: The Favorite

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

Colquitt's brother Britton is the punter for the Denver Broncos, and their father Craig used to punt for the Pittsburgh Steelers. As a 2012 Pro Bowl selection, Dustin is clearly better than his brother, and therefore loved more by his father.

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16. CB Brandon Flowers: The Killer

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Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Flowers shares a name with the lead singer of the Killers, and his Twitter avatar used to be a picture of Chucky, which he never should've changed.

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15. LB Tamba Hali: The Liberian Nightmare

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

I'm probably not the first person to come up with this one, but it's a great homage to Christian Okoye that deserves to be repeated.

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14. LB Justin Houston: 50 Shades of Pain

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Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

The 17 football fans who also read that book are going to love this one.

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13. DE Mike DeVito: Shark Riot

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Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

This one has nothing to do with DeVito or his name -- I just thought a shark riot sounds like something you don't want to mess with.

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12. C Rodney Hudson: Rod the Bod

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Jason Bridge-USA TODAY Sports

And it's a big one.

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11. LB Akeem Jordan: Ground Jordan

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Rob Foldy-USA TODAY Sports

Unlike Mike, he brings people to the ground.

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10. TE Travis Kelce: TKO

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Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Unfortunately, Kelce has been technically knocked out of most of this season, but he'll be back to earn his nickname.

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9. S Kendrick Lewis: Judge Dread

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John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

He's not a real judge, but he does have dreads.

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8. RB Knile Davis: Jazz Hands

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John Geliebter-USA TODAY Sports

Kansas City is known for jazz, and Davis is known for his hands.

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7. TE Sean McGrath: The Crime Dog

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

This is one of my all-time favorite nicknames and I think McGrath has the right to take it. Sean McGrath sounds more like Scruff McGruff than Fred McGriff. They could also just share the name the way the hundreds of people who call themselves Superman do.

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6. G Geoff Schwartz: Yogurt

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Jason Bridge-USA TODAY Sports

Nobody knows how to use the Schwartz like Yogurt.

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5. DT Dontari Poe: Big Brisket

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

It had to be something barbeque related. He played college in Memphis, now plays in Kansas City, and as his biggest weakness, he had to eliminate barbeque from his diet before this season. You can't live in Kansas City and avoid it for long, so he will eventually coming running back into barbeque's comforting, delicious arms.

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4. CB Sean Smith: The S.S. Interceptor

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Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Because that's his job.

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3. WR Donnie Avery: The Prosecuter

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

His initials are D.A. and it just sounds tough.

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2. QB Alex Smith: The Forsaken

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John Rieger-USA TODAY Sports

In 2012, Smith led the San Francisco 49ers to a 6-2 record before he suffered a concussion. When he was ready to come back, he was no longer wanted. The 49ers cast him out for a younger more exciting quarterback, which has worked out very well for both Smith and Kansas City so far.

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1. WR Dwayne Bowe: Double Dwayne Bowe

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Denny Medley-USA TODAY Sports

What does this mean? It's a reference to both the famous double rainbow viral video, and the fact that defenses better double up on Dwayne Bowe.


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