NASCAR Race In Texas to Feature Beer and Bacon Milkshake

By Connor Muldowney
Kevin Liles-USA TODAY Sports

It’s the news that every NASCAR fan has been waiting for. A milkshake to be sold at the Nov. 3 AAA Texas 500 at the Texas Motor Speedway. Yes, I said it right — a milkshake. You might be asking why this is such a big deal, but let me assure you that you will want to take a listen to what the milkshake flavor is. Burnt rubber? No. Pieces of metal in the stands milkshake? Nope. If you guessed it was a bacon and beer milkshake, you would be correct.

Yes, right when you thought America couldn’t get any more America-y, a bacon and beer milkshake emerges, bringing joy — and clogged arteries — to the fine people of NASCAR.

Usually NASCAR fans have to worry about cars crashing into the boundaries and pieces of metal shrapnel flying into the stands, something that has happened this year already, but now they have to worry about keeping their figure and maintaining their health after consuming possibly the most deadly milkshake creation to ever hit the market.

All I can think about when I see this is the poor people that will be struggling to find the nearest hospital after inhaling thousands of calories worth of terrible-tasting pain. Some people like beer, everyone likes bacon and milkshakes are just awesome, but put all three together and you have one of the most disgusting concoctions on the planet.

Start investing in Tums, people. This is going to destroy stomachs at a NASCAR race near you.

Connor Muldowney is a columnist for Follow him on Twitter @Connormuldowney, “Like” him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google. You can also reach him at

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