Not often do I get to write a headline that awesome. If you were expecting a prank post or an avant garde metaphor of some kind, I should be up-front in informing you that this is no joke. In case you haven’t heard, the following hilariously strange incident actually happened, and in case you still can’t believe me, a quick Google search of the words “hot dog lawsuit” should erase your doubts. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Yeah, you see? Not only is it fact, but it’s getting national media attention. After being struck in the eye by a flying wiener chucked behind-the-back-style by Sluggerrr, the Kansas City Royals mascot, Overland Park, KS resident John Coomer filed a lawsuit against the organization. Now can you see why I can’t stop giggling while I write this article?
The only time I didn’t want to guffaw while reading about this was during the description of Coomer’s injuries. Mr. Coomer is suing the Royals for coverage of his almost $5000 of medical bills for surgeries he needed after the frankfurter fastball incident (last bad hot dog joke, sorry). Here comes the not-so funny part: Coomer’s first surgery repaired his detached retina, and his second removed a cataract that developed directly because of the dog-induced injury and included an artificial lens implant. Coomer, who refuses to discuss the case publicly, has worse eyesight now than before his injury.
The severity of this lawsuit could make it a legislative milestone in years to come. It’s about the time when I realize that this moment could change the way fans experience live sports forever that the laughter returns, slowly but hardily.
The upcoming ruling from the Missouri Supreme Court will set a precedent for how franchises will interact with their fans in the future. The so-called “baseball rule” restricts fans of pro sports from suing the respective franchise for any injury caused by in-game action, but this incident throws the legal system a brand new curveball.
The Royals organization insists that Coomer is fully at-fault because he was unaware of his surroundings while the hot dog tossing was going on. Coomer’s lawyer insists that this wiener-related injury does not fall under the rules of old legislation. Whichever way the court rules, it will change the MLB, and possibly other sports, in an otherwise-unforeseen manner. Sluggerrr and that notorious hot dog will change sports forever.
Now that’s a sentence I never imagined I would write, but I’m glad I did.