Re-casting Star Wars With Athletes, Coaches and Sports Executives
Star Wars Re-Casted With Stars From the Sports World
If you’re a Star Wars fan, then you’re giddy with excitement about the announcement of the new trilogy that’s already in the works. The first of the third trilogy, Star Wars: Episode VII, is set to hit theaters on Dec. 18, 2015, and with that announcement, we couldn’t help but not hide our nerdy side while discussing sports. So naturally, we decided to re-cast the most popular Star Wars characters with folks from the sports world!
But we didn’t just include athletes — no, we included some coaches and even a general manager and after seeing which characters they play, you’ll see why.
Of course, we added all of the most applicable athletes to each character NOT based on their looks, but on how each figure from the sports world translates to each Star Wars character. The fact a handful of them look a like their silver screen counterparts is just an added bonus.
The best part is this isn’t just players, coaches and executives from one sport — we stretched across almost every sports platform to compile the list of athletes whose lives and/or careers match that of a popular Star Wars character. The goal is to make this re-casting event as realistic as possible.
We can’t include characters for the new movie coming in 2015 because although it’s pretty clear the new trilogy will revolve around the life of Anakin Solo, the son of Han Solo and Princess Leia Organa Solo, that’s not for certain. But don’t worry, we’ll re-cast again later to include them.
For now, enjoy your favorite sports personalities as Star Wars characters.
Alex Rodriguez as Viceroy Nute Gunray
The Viceroy was the double-crosser who got double-crossed. He tried to rob everyone and then cried to the authorities when he got caught, as if those who caught him were at fault. Sounds just like A-Rod’s story, doesn’t it? Pathetic.
Alex Ovechkin as Anakin Skywalker
Anakin Skywalker was extremely talented and had worlds of potential, but his problem was he knew that and let it get to his head. That was his ultimate downfall and that’s exactly why Alex Ovechkin will never win the Stanley Cup.
Andy Murray as Lando Calrissian
Like Lando Calrissian, Andy Murray is mostly an afterthought in the world of tennis, but how can you not like him?
Candace Parker as Padme Amidala
Like the last female characters in this series, these two lovely ladies have two things in common: They’re very attractive and they can flat out ball(Parker)/fight(Padme).
Andy Reid as Boss Nass
Like Boss Nass, Andy Reid is an awesome leader whose mustache makes his words sound like the Boss’ slobbering statements when he makes his rulings.
Baron Davis as a Jawa
Just like the Jawas, Baron Davis is the goofiest-looking thing who was relevant for like five minutes.
Chad (Ochocinco) Johnson as Count Duku
Like Count Duku, Chad Johnson thinks he really good, but he’s not. He also thinks everyone likes him, but they don’t. And now he wonders why he’s alone. But on the bright side, at least Ochocinco didn’t get his head chopped off like Duku.
Andrew Luck as Luke Skywalker
Luke Skywalker was the very last of the Jedi, but he faced the tall order of taking down the evil empire. In the same sense, Andrew Luck is the last of a dying breed of smart, pocket passers and his goal is take down the evil empire of gimmick offenses like the read-option shame from taking over the NFL.
Charles Barkley as Han Solo
If there were ever two talented individuals who just didn’t give a damn, it was Han Solo and Charles Barkley. Both of these stars were reckless, cocky as heck, but they got the job done. Easy match.
Danny Woodhead as an Ewok
The Ewoks didn’t get much attention in the series, but they were little, fuzzy and everyone loved them. Is that not a perfect description of Danny Woodhead?
Derek Holland as R2-D2
Derek Holland is just like R2-D2 because he’s an underrated star who says extremely sarcastic, funny stuff under his breath in the background, but also gets the job done without receiving much credit.
Dwight Howard as Jar Jar Binks
This one was rather difficult, but when you hear Dwight Howard’s impersonation of Stan Van Gundy, you’ll see that he’s the perfect sports star to play Jar Jar Binks.
Floyd Mayweather as Mace Windu
Mace Windu’s appearance in the Star Wars series was brief, but he made his presence known as a dominant force who could take down anyone. Floyd Mayweather is the same way in the boxing ring and he’s got Windu’s attitude to boot.
Hope Solo as Princess Leia
Here’s the main thing these two lovely ladies have in common: Their talent goes overlooked, but their hotness does not.
JaMarcus Russell as Darth Maul
Now this one may seem funny at first, but Darth Maul is the JaMarcus Russell of Star Wars — he’s the biggest bust of all time. He was created as this awesome force to wreak havoc and then he was done after his first assignment.
Jerry Jones as Emperor Palpatine
Emperor Palpatine and Jerry Jones are the same person because they control everything, but they’re so blinded by their lust for power that they can’t see they’re the ones causing all the problems.
Jonathan Vilma as Boba Fett
This one is pretty self-explanatory. One word: Bounty.
Manti Te'o as Admiral Ackbar
Like Admiral Ackbar, who better to tell us something is a trap than Manti Te’o?
Peyton Manning as Qui-Gon Jinn
It’s a shame Qui-Gon Jinn only appeared in one movie because he was one of the greatest characters in the history of Star Wars. Like Qui-Gon, Peyton Manning is a methodical thinker who can easily teach younger players/padawans and makes everyone around him better. Easy match.
Shaq as Chewbacca
Now we obviously had to pick someone tall to play Chewie, but Shaq is actually the ideal pick because he’s a big, funny dude who can really dominate when he wants to. Also, we can’t understand a word either of them says.
Tim Duncan as Obi-Wan Kenobi
Obi-Wan Kenobi was overshadowed by Skywalker his whole life, but he was ultimately responsible for overthrowing the empire. Tim Duncan doesn’t get nearly the recognition of his peers, yet he’s one of the best power forwards — if not THE best — of all time.
Tim Lincecum as C-3PO
You know that awkward character who is sometimes helpful and sometimes gets in the way, but is always awkwardly there? C-3PO’s sports counterpart is Tim Lincecum.
Tony Dungy as Yoda
Like Yoda, Tony Dungy was a quiet, powerful force who was able to influence even the most lost of souls without being noticed.
Vince Wilfork as Jabba the Hutt
Vince Wilfork isn’t the slob that Jabba the Hutt is, but he’s a straight up gangsta, which would make him the perfect choice to play the most feared Hutt on Tatooine.
Nick Saban as Darth Vader
Darth Vader was an evil force with a thirst for power and a loyalty problem. Does that not describe Nick Saban perfectly? He’s the driving force of the evil empire who isn’t afraid to jump ship — just ask the Dolphins.