15. Mike Tyson
“Where am I going to keep this tiger?”
“Where am I going to keep this tiger?”
“A Hooters gift card – very classy.”
“’Free sparring sessions with yours truly.’ Um, no?”
“More Wrangler jeans to go with the ones from last year that I still haven’t worn, great.”
“Rogaine? Oh… It all makes sense now.”
“Hooray, another gift card solely used for the official Kardashian Clothing Line featured only at your local Sears.”
“An autograph! Awesome, how much do I owe you?”
“’Quarterbacking for Dummies?’ Ah, I see. Tom Brady lent you a copy, but you ‘never got around to reading it.’”
“A party invite? What kind of party? On a boat? Oh, yeah, about that… See, I don't do those parties.”
“Oh, you wrote a children’s book. For me? Oh, my kids? No, no, I don’t even want to know what’s in there.”
“A diamond ring? Bro, did you sleep with my wife?”
“A key to the Playboy Mansion? Yikes, you really did get around, didn’t you?”
“Dude, you have to take this back. I can’t be seen with that stuff, let alone enough to fill up a Volkswagen Beetle.”
“Yoga lessons for a year, Sesame Street on DVD, a kazoo and a pair of size 52 overalls… Hey, can I ask what you were doing just prior to going shopping?”
“What is this? How do you shoot it? Is this even legal?”
Get our content customized for you directly to your inbox!
