25 Hot Cheerleader Pictures and Why They’ll Never Date You

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25 Hot Cheerleader Pictures and Why They'll Never Date You

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Bruce Kluckhohn-USA TODAY Sports

Please don’t get me wrong. I don’t think just because these women are attractive they are too good for you. I don’t even think they’re too good for you. I’m just going to give you a few examples of why these women may not be jumping at the chance to date men today.

Sorry to be so critical, but there are pictures of gorgeous women with each criticism to make you feel better. More accurately, the pictures are there to be the primary reason you go through the slideshow. You don’t care what I think -- nobody does. You just want to haggle these beautiful women, which is our first reason why they won’t want to date you.

You shouldn’t want to date them either. It’s not just men who are awful; women are awful too. I’m just making why men should be avoided the focus of this article because posting these pictures for you to gawk at them is bad enough. Adding reasons why I don’t like or trust them on top of that is over my limit.

So to summarize, I think everybody is terrible. Human nature is disgusting, selfish and dishonest, and I think God’s punishment for the way we are is the curse of loneliness. It’s a pretty genius punishment when you think about it. His curse of loneliness forces us to spend our lives with other disgusting, selfish and dishonest creatures until we die. Well-played, God. Anyway, here are some attractive women and some reasons why nobody should love you.

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25.

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Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Because you think you have ‘game’ and still use the term ‘game’

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24.

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Jim Brown-USA TODAY Sports

Because you’re a millennial, and outside of the video game world you don’t know how to do anything

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23.

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Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Because if you’re not a millennial you probably judge them for being useless despite the fact that you don't know how do do anything either.

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22.

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Derick E. Hingle-USA TODAY Sports

Because you always smell like Axe Body Spray

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21.

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Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Because your cooking skills don’t go beyond Hamburger Helper

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20.

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Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Because you won’t shut up about the one little thing you do that isn’t terrible for this planet

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19.

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Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Because you made going to the gym a lifestyle

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18.

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Howard Smith-USA TODAY Sports

Because they’re not old enough to realize that true love doesn’t exist, and that everybody eventually settles

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17.

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Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Because they know you watched Emma Watson grow up and are now attracted to her, and that weirds them out

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16.

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Rob Foldy-USA TODAY Sports

Because you’re going to be way too pushy about trying to get them to watch your favorite TV shows or movies

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15.

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Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Because they work around millionaires who are in incredible shape, and their wishful thinking makes them believe athletes won’t cheat

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Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Because you waited in line at midnight for the release of a video game

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Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Because they want a man, and they saw the pathetic panic attack you had when you lost your phone

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Casey Sapio-USA TODAY Sports

Because you’re in one of those celebrity death pools and it's very disturbing that you would root for people to die

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Jim Brown-USA TODAY Sports

Because you care about your music way too much, and sing along with parts of it because you want people to know you know the words

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Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Because you have a collection of empty beer bottles documenting what types of beers you’ve tried, which means your accomplishments are literally garbage

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9.

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Mark L. Baer-USA TODAY Sports

Because they know that Groupon will be deciding the path of your dates soon

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8.

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Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Because you’re a man, and the natural thoughts that go through a man’s brain are both terrifying and disgusting to them

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Phil Sears-USA TODAY Sports

Because they need to have their heart ripped apart by a good-looking man with money before they’ll pick someone safe

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Tim Heitman-USA TODAY Sports

Because you tried too hard, and in their mind trying too hard is creepy unless an incredibly attractive person is doing it, then it’s romantic

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Justin Ford-USA TODAY Sports

Because you have one of those faces that suggest you have a dark secret

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Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Because you manscape, and they can’t stop picturing that sad process

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3.

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Kyle Terada-USA TODAY Sports

Because dating websites where they can find out what’s wrong with you before ever having to actually meet exist

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2.

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Troy Taormina-USA TODAY Sports

Because this isn't the 50's, and women don't need a man anymore, and a puppy can fulfill 90% of their needs

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Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

Because trusting anyone in this sick world would be incredibly stupid


Around the Web

  • Jeffrey Gee

    Do any of them have an IQ over 80? I wouldn’t take advantage or date the mentally handicapped.

  • bobby62

    Aaron why do you sound like such an Ay Hole?

  • L. D. Blair

    Ogle, I believe you mean. Not haggle.