20 Reasons Why You Know You’re a Sports Fan From Washington D.C.
20 Reasons Why You Know You're a Sports Fan From Washington D.C.
Alright friend. It is going to be okay. Maybe.
So, you are Washington D.C. sports fan, and you were searching the internet for some solace for your pain. Do not know if you have arrived at the right place, but if you want to hear the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing BUT the truth then welcome to your new home.
There is a whole lot of sports related pain to go around in the DMV, and the most recent devastations are almost too fresh to touch on, but I will try to steel myself. Honestly, went in to full denial during the DC football season, and have only popped my head up now that head coach Mike Shanahan is out of town.
Thank the football gods above for that by the way.
Yeah, there is not a lot of hope in the future, but at least we can all lean on each other. This slideshow covers some of the glory (not a lot) and a lot of the pain. Thanks for reading though, because sometimes describing the distress can help to ease it. The pain will always remain, but hopefully there will be some bright moments in the future with all of the young talent locked into long term contracts in the DC area. It looks like the Wizards will make the playoffs this year so we have that to look forward to and for the football team... well. We might as well just learn to accept circumstances beyond our control.
20. You Remember the Georgetown Hoyas and Patrick Ewing Finally Winning in 1984
Patrick Ewing had his fair share of basketball embarrassments and the Michael Jordan shot comes specifically to mind, but in 1984 it was the center's turn to shine. His performance helped cap off a magical 34-3 season for the Hoyas and head coach John Thompson's first and only national title.
19. You Probably Watch Other Teams More than Your Own
It is a sad truth that just has to get acknowledged. Call us fair weather or anything else, but most of us like to watch excellence in action (especially when it comes to sports) and the truth is that DC sports have rarely shown us that level of quality in the last couple decades. But believe me... no one wishes that would change in the coming years more than me. Let's hope for some playoff action this year.
18. You Prefer Your Football Team's Crass Name to Their Real One
You are oddly more used to calling the football team by their more crass name (it rhymes with boreskin), than oh you know, the racist name that we actually use every day without blinking an eye.
17. You Have Faith in RGIII, But Not in the Organization
Did Robert Griffin III need a little bit of an ego check at the start of this year? Probably. He is still the player we drafted two years ago though, and that is a driven, intelligent, and immensely gifted young quarterback. Maybe he will never be the same player he was before the injury, but that really does not matter. He is a sharp enough mind to adapt, and I honestly think that if he comes back next season without a knee brace on then it will make a world of difference. Ultimately, the organizational ineptitude might be RGIII's downfall, but you can still count me among one of his ardent believers.
16. You Hate Dan Snyder
You hate the fact the Daniel Snyder is not only an incompetent owner, but he is also fairly young; therefore, he will be around for a while and you will have to keep referencing his ineptitude. Yeah, feel your pain on that one. Oh also, he's a jerk who refuses to change a clearly derogatory team name.
15. Your Lone NBA Championship Was In a Closet for Decades
The Bullets one pro basketball trophy was hiding in a team employee's closet for decades, and it is quite an unbelievable story.
Here is the link to that full piece,. which is just a fascinating piece of sports history: http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/washington-bullets-1978-nba-championship-trophy-went-missing-162941523--nba.html
It tells you a little bit about how we treasure our past in DC, and apparently when owner Ted Leonsis finally tracked down the trophy it was "scuffed up, tarnished, and dented- at the bottom of a closet."
Sounds about right!
14. Your Women's Basketball Team Settles For Attendance Championships
The Mystics have never won a championship obviously, so they took solace at one point in hoisting attendance banners at their arena. No, I'm not kidding but wish I was. These have since been taken down, but they were up long enough to still be embarrassing to this day.
13. You Know How to Handle Silly Clown Questions
When a reporter tries to play you with a question, you know exactly how to clown him back because Bryce Harper taught you the way. You may not have been raised Mormon, but you can still identify a silly question when it is brought to your attention.
"That's a clown question bro."
12. You Are Probably In Denial
You probably silently ignore the face that no DC team has won a major title in over 20 years, and you pray that the loser mentality does not infect you to your very core. My boy Lucas Brown knows what I'm talking about, and let us just say that the Nationals losing game 5 to St. Louis in the fashion that they did was an absolute ball punch. Let's not talk about it.
11. You Are Used to Reusing Other Teams' Aged Stars
This one needs no explanation, but will just list them coldly like an executioner. Steve Spurrier, Michael Jordan, Mitch Richmond, Gilbert Arenas, Bruce Smith, Jaromir Jagr, Jerry Stackhouse, Deion Sanders, Albert Haynesworth, and Joe Gibbs (II). Please do not make me do any more okay? Because absolutely certain that could double that list.
10. If You Are Me, Then You Are Glad MJ Came Back
If you are me then you probably silently seethe every time someone mentions that Michael Jordan never should have come back because you remember with great fondness him scratching and clawing his way to 20 points a night while fighting an aging body. Well, we all know where Kanye West stands on that. Hehe.
9. If You Are Not Me, Then You Wish MJ Had Not Come Back
Totally get it. He was a shell of the player he was before, and it is not like he was on a team that had any chance of making the playoffs. MJ deserved to come back with a better team, but the fact that he came back and still played reasonably well is a great lesson for young players about perseverance and believing in yourself.
8. You Wish Joe Gibbs Had Never Come Back the Second Time
The first go around was a beautiful thing that resulted in three Super Bowls. The second time? Not so much. The highlight (if you can call it that) was Gibbs coaching the team into the playoffs the year of the heartbreaking Sean Taylor death. Yeah, not a whole lot to look back in with great joy in the second Gibbs' era.
7. You Miss John Riggins Playing Football
You miss watching John Riggins out on the football field, and silently curse Friday Night Lights for wisely using the last name for one of their best characters. (Tim Riggins of course for any of you nubes out there). "I'm very happy,” said Riggins after winning the Super Bowl in 1983. "At least for tonight, Ron's the president, but I'm the king."
6. You Probably Don't Remember the Last NBA Title Washington Won
It was 1978 and Wes Unseld helped to seal things with a couple free throws. It is the only championship in the franchise's history, and they have been waiting for another one ever since. Those were some great years of basketball in DC, and here is hoping that the current roster continues to add young talent.
5. You Miss the Days of Sammy Baugh
If you are of the appropriate age, then you miss the days of Sammy Baugh. The amazing quarterback also recorded four interceptions in a game once while playing safety. The internet would probably just explode on the spot if that happened today.
4. You Know That Teddy Should Not Have Won the Presidential Race
You do not understand why Teddy won a race before we won a World Championship. Thanks for jinxing it, whichever freaking stadium executive made that decision! You cursed the 2013 playoff run, and we'll never forgive you for it here.
3. You Are Terrified by Stephen Strasburg and Bryce Harper's Health
You are silently and terrifyingly waiting for Stephen Strasburg to have an elbow problem and/or Bryce Harper to run directly through the center field wall just to prove that he can. It it going to be a rough ride Nationals fans, but they clearly have the best general manager of the major DC sports teams.
2. Ditto for RGIII's Knee
The main reason I wanted Shanahan out of town was because of the way the coach handled his quarterback's health. It was obvious to anyone with a set of eyes in last year's playoffs that the franchise quarterback was putting himself in harm's way while also not contributing to the team in any way. He looked spry at times near the end of this season, but all of the other coaching issues blurred those good moments.
1. Your Team is Probably Losing Right Now
D.C. sports teams had the third lowest winning percentage of all major cities in 2013; when you combine that with the usually high expectations that come for football, hockey, and baseball, then it makes for an even greater gut punch.
Thanks for reading; know a lot of this was depressing so wanted to leave you with some positive fortune cookie wisdom so you DC fans can stride forward with confidence and not let the ineptitude of the region's sporting general managers taint your own confidence.
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them" -Walt Disney