Top 30 Most Unfortunate Athlete Names of All Time

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Most Unfortunate Athlete Names

athlete names
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Sports today have garnered so much attention that it's almost unreal how many fans some athletes have. While it's a great thing that sports are growing rapidly in popularity, there are some athletes who wish it wasn't so rapid of a growth. Why would any athlete wish for a lack of popularity within a sport? Are they shy? Are they known to crumble under immense pressure? None of the above. It's because of their name.

What do I mean by this?

Some athletes in sports today and in the past have been handed a rather unfortunate name by their parents -- or maybe it is the last name that has been haunting them for their entire life. Sure, these athletes are famous, but sometimes it's for the complete wrong reason.

Some athletes don't like publicity because they are not big fans of being the center of attention while others just don't like the stress that fame brings. The athletes on this list are much different, however, as they do not want the recognition because their name is one of the most embarrassing things in sports.

I have compiled a list of the 30 most unfortunate athlete names in sports today. These guys and girls have names that are so unfortunate, no mother should ever make their child suffer through them. When I say they are embarrassing, I mean like really embarrassing. Some of these athletes can't help that their last name is stuck with them forever, no matter what, while others have parents who just wanted their children to suffer -- just a sick idea.

So, here it is. Let's take a look at the list of top 30 most unfortunate athlete names of all time. If I have missed any gems, let me know.

Connor Muldowney is a columnist for Follow him on Twitter @Connormuldowney, “Like” him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google. You can also reach him at

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30. Coco Crisp

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The cereal or the baseball player?

Sport: Baseball

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29. Dong Dong

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The more infamous of the Dong brothers.

Sport: Men's gymnastics/Olympian

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28. Picabo Street

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Nothing like being named after a children's game -- peek-a-boo.

Sport: Skiing/Olympian

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27. Doug Fister

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Let's keep your name G-rated, Doug.

Sport: Baseball

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26. Smush Parker

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Why would a parent ever name their child Smush? Seriously.

Sport: Basketball

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25. Wolfgang Wolf

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Raised by wolves.

Sport: Soccer

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24. Longar Longar

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Not to be mistaken with Chris Berman's son Back Back Back.

Sport: Basketball

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23. Uwe Blab

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Pretty boring guy.

Sport: Basketball

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22. Kim Yoo-Suk

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No, Kim, you suck.

Sport: Pole vault/track & field

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21. Destinee Hooker

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No one wants that to be their destiny.

Sport: Volleyball

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20. Tokyo Sexwale

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I don't even want to know why Tokyo has one of these. Oh wait, that's actually a person's name?

Sport: Involved with Fifa

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19. David Seaman

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David loves boats -- and the sea.

Sport: Soccer

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18. Kyle Sackrider


His parents felt his pain and gave him a normal first name.

Sport: Football

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17. Chief Kickingstallionsims

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This guy is not to be messed with.

Sport: Basketball

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16. Sonny Sixkiller


At least he stopped at six.

Sport: Football

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15. Karen Cockburn

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Ouch. Sounds pretty painful.

Sport: Women's gymnastics/Olympian

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14. Ron Tugnutt

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Ron, what are you doing over there? Never mind.

Sport: Hockey

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13. Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon

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A broadcaster's nightmare.

Sport: Weight lifting/Olympian

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12. God Shammgod

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He thinks pretty highly of himself, eh?

Sport: Basketball

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11. Steve Sharts


Never go to the bathroom after Steve.

Sport: Baseball

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10. Miroslav Satan

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Pretty scary looking guy with a fitting last name.

Sport: Hockey

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9. Phyllis Mangina


Phyllis, I feel bad for your children as well.

Sport: Women's basketball

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8. Dick Butkus

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Okay, I'm starting to question my maturity.

Sport: Football

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7. Dick Pole

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Really, Mom and Dad?

Sport: Baseball

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6. Dick Paradise


The one first name that his parents needed to avoid and they just couldn't resist.

Sport: Hockey

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5. Misty Hyman

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Not even going to touch this one. Insert your own joke here.

Sport: Swimming/Olympian

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4. Harry Colon


Not something you should be proud of.

Sport: Football

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3. Fair Hooker


The fairest in town.

Sport: Football

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2. Dick Trickle

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Legendary race car driver. Even more legendary name.

Sport: Racing

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1. Rusty Kuntz


That sounds like a serious problem.

Sport: Baseball