Top 30 Most Unfortunate Athlete Names of All Time
By Connor Muldowney
@Connormuldowney
Most Unfortunate Athlete Names
Sports today have garnered so much attention that it's almost unreal how many fans some athletes have. While it's a great thing that sports are growing rapidly in popularity, there are some athletes who wish it wasn't so rapid of a growth. Why would any athlete wish for a lack of popularity within a sport? Are they shy? Are they known to crumble under immense pressure? None of the above. It's because of their name.
What do I mean by this?
Some athletes in sports today and in the past have been handed a rather unfortunate name by their parents -- or maybe it is the last name that has been haunting them for their entire life. Sure, these athletes are famous, but sometimes it's for the complete wrong reason.
Some athletes don't like publicity because they are not big fans of being the center of attention while others just don't like the stress that fame brings. The athletes on this list are much different, however, as they do not want the recognition because their name is one of the most embarrassing things in sports.
I have compiled a list of the 30 most unfortunate athlete names in sports today. These guys and girls have names that are so unfortunate, no mother should ever make their child suffer through them. When I say they are embarrassing, I mean like really embarrassing. Some of these athletes can't help that their last name is stuck with them forever, no matter what, while others have parents who just wanted their children to suffer -- just a sick idea.
So, here it is. Let's take a look at the list of top 30 most unfortunate athlete names of all time. If I have missed any gems, let me know.
Connor Muldowney is a columnist for www.RantSports.com. Follow him on Twitter @Connormuldowney, “Like” him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google. You can also reach him at [email protected].
30. Coco Crisp
The cereal or the baseball player?
Sport: Baseball
29. Dong Dong
The more infamous of the Dong brothers.
Sport: Men's gymnastics/Olympian
28. Picabo Street
Nothing like being named after a children's game -- peek-a-boo.
Sport: Skiing/Olympian
27. Doug Fister
Let's keep your name G-rated, Doug.
Sport: Baseball
26. Smush Parker
Why would a parent ever name their child Smush? Seriously.
Sport: Basketball
25. Wolfgang Wolf
Raised by wolves.
Sport: Soccer
24. Longar Longar
Not to be mistaken with Chris Berman's son Back Back Back.
Sport: Basketball
23. Uwe Blab
Pretty boring guy.
Sport: Basketball
22. Kim Yoo-Suk
No, Kim, you suck.
Sport: Pole vault/track & field
21. Destinee Hooker
No one wants that to be their destiny.
Sport: Volleyball
20. Tokyo Sexwale
I don't even want to know why Tokyo has one of these. Oh wait, that's actually a person's name?
Sport: Involved with Fifa
19. David Seaman
David loves boats -- and the sea.
Sport: Soccer
18. Kyle Sackrider
His parents felt his pain and gave him a normal first name.
Sport: Football
17. Chief Kickingstallionsims
This guy is not to be messed with.
Sport: Basketball
16. Sonny Sixkiller
At least he stopped at six.
Sport: Football
15. Karen Cockburn
Ouch. Sounds pretty painful.
Sport: Women's gymnastics/Olympian
14. Ron Tugnutt
Ron, what are you doing over there? Never mind.
Sport: Hockey
13. Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon
A broadcaster's nightmare.
Sport: Weight lifting/Olympian
12. God Shammgod
He thinks pretty highly of himself, eh?
Sport: Basketball
11. Steve Sharts
Never go to the bathroom after Steve.
Sport: Baseball
10. Miroslav Satan
Pretty scary looking guy with a fitting last name.
Sport: Hockey
9. Phyllis Mangina
Phyllis, I feel bad for your children as well.
Sport: Women's basketball
8. Dick Butkus
Okay, I'm starting to question my maturity.
Sport: Football
7. Dick Pole
Really, Mom and Dad?
Sport: Baseball
6. Dick Paradise
The one first name that his parents needed to avoid and they just couldn't resist.
Sport: Hockey
5. Misty Hyman
Not even going to touch this one. Insert your own joke here.
Sport: Swimming/Olympian
4. Harry Colon
Not something you should be proud of.
Sport: Football
3. Fair Hooker
The fairest in town.
Sport: Football
2. Dick Trickle
Legendary race car driver. Even more legendary name.
Sport: Racing
1. Rusty Kuntz
That sounds like a serious problem.
Sport: Baseball
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