20 Ugly Examples of Music by Pro Athletes
20 Examples of Awful Music by Pro Athletes
Pro athletes are masters of the very specific actions or movements in their role of play. Somehow, this specific excellence occasionally makes one of them believe they'll automatically exude greatness in other fields. When the pro athlete strays into the realm of music, oftentimes the result is ear-poison.
The offenders who made this list come from as far back as the '70's, yet have struck as recently as 2013. Every genre has been permeated by their failure, from gospel to '90's hip hop. But especially '90's hip hop. Terrible artistic decisions will never be bound by time or culture.
Oh, and Bronson Arroyo isn't on this list. It doesn't matter if you like or dislike his alt-rock offerings, he's actually a musician. Quit being so mean, Internet. Whether or not the rest of the names on this list can say that objectively is arguable at the very least.
Before diving into the deep end of disturbingly bad attempts at music by athletes, please remember that some of them really are capable of making greatness. If you need a break, go ahead and Google Wayman Tisdale. Tisdale grew up playing bass guitar at his dad's church services. Prior to his tragic passing in 2006, Tisdale's album “Face to Face” topped the Billboard contemporary jazz charts. You better believe Wayman knew how to play some bass, and his sweet jazz licks should be enough to power you through the rest of the article.
If you still struggle getting through the list with your psyche unscathed, search for "John McEnroe guitar", and just try acting like you're too cool to be impressed by that.
20. Chris Webber
Chris Webber's debut album 2 Much Drama came out in March of 1999, apparently because there wasn't a bad rap album released by a basketball player yet that year. C-Webb played the most overwrought hip hop caricature possible, and his music videos always felt like the David Lynch-ian fever-dream of a more successful rapper.
19. Alexi Lalas
Alexi Lalas was an elite scorer in his playing days and still provides excellent soccer analysis for ESPN. His musical endeavors, however, garnered far fewer fans than his goal-scoring abilities.
18. DeSean Jackson
Philadelphia Eagles receiver DeSean Jackson released his first single, Diamonds on My Neck, to rave reviews. To clarify, “rave reviews” in this instance means people on the internet were raving about how bad this was as soon as it hit YouTube. DeSean's monotonous droning on can't even be helped by an appearance from Snoop Dogg in this 3 minute, 24 second-long barrage of bland genre cliches.
17. Randy Savage
Before his tragically early departure from this world, Macho Man Randy Savage did us all the favor of recording Be A Man in 2003. This album is packed with gangster rap, hip hop and R&B, and laced with insults aimed at fellow rasslin' star, Hulk Hogan.
16. Dwayne Johnson
The Rock (or Dwayne Johnson, whatever) was one of many pro wrestlers to trade in their WWE fame for a chance at cinematic stardom. As well as successfully merging into the movie industry with his mediocre acting, Johnson also snuck into the music world with his mediocre singing. The Rock's vocalization skills can even be found on Wyclef Jean's second studio album, on the song “It Doesn't Matter”.
15. Muhammad Ali
Muhammad Ali's notoriety is almost impossible to understand by today's standards, but let's just say he was a big deal. His extensive popularity led to a constant torrent of tie-ins and other advertising stunts throughout his career. When he wasn't facing off against Superman in his own comic, Ali was recording Ali and his Gang Vs. Mr. Tooth Decay. I'm not sure this album saved that generation of children from cavities, but at least they gave it a try.
14. The 1985 Chicago Bears
Although the infamous Super Bowl Shuffle was their only production, its impact on the world of music, nay, the world at large, was undeniable. You can still find yourself a copy on VHS or LP today.
13. Tony Parker
It isn't Tony Parker's fault, or France's for that matter, but rhyming in his native language did very little to compliment the veteran guard's attempt at a rap album.
12. Clint Dempsey
Speaking of strange European hip hop, “Don't Tread” is a weird exhibit of Seattle Sounders FC star Clint Dempsey's rap skills, or lack thereof. It's more pleasing to my ears than the preceding entry, but that's probably just because it's in English.
11. Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Who doesn't love Money? Me. I don't. Floyd Mayweather Jr.'s multiple forays into rap didn't alter my viewpoint much. I doubt getting to watch him and his ninth-place finish on Dancing with the Stars would've helped, either.
10. Roy Jones Jr.
Roy Jones Jr. had the fastest hands I've ever seen. Sadly, his rhymes didn't come with the same fast-paced precision that his boxing game did, as his 2002 vanity project Round One: The Album proved to us all.
9. Manny Pacquiao
There's no denying that Manny Pacquiao in his prime was one of the greatest pound-for-pound fighters ever. There's also no denying that his various musical follies with three different labels are hard to endure.
8. Serena Williams
As the internet will gleefully tell you while snickering under its collective breath, Serena Williams was heard rapping in a leaked YouTube video in 2012. Some of the video comments claim that this was just a joke from Serena and her entourage, so let's just hope that's the truth.
Anyone who knows the slightest thing about Shaquille O'Neal won't be surprised to see him on this list. Shaq Diesel is the '92 debut album from you-know-who that counts as just one of many of Big Aristotle's ventures into other fields. Shaq Diesel was bad, but as you probably know by now, Shaq Fu was worse.
6. Omar Vizquel
Omar Vizquel was easily one of my favorite MLB players of all time, and thanks to the 2005 charity compilation album Oh Say Can You Sing?, I now know what it would sound like if a Boston tribute band hired him as lead vocalist.
5. Metta World Peace
Metta World Peace is a hard dude to take seriously, so plugging him into the NBA player/rapper schema makes his meandering, PG-13 rhymes seem completely, jarringly out of place. Don't tell that to ArtestMediaGroupTV though, who actually uploaded a variety of Metta's musical exhibitions on YouTube.
4. Dave Schultz
At the height of his popularity as a member of the Broad Street Bullies – a notoriously rowdy Philadelphia Flyers squad from the 1970's – Dave Schultz agreed to sing an upbeat ditty titled “The Penalty Box”. In it, the man who still holds the record for most penalty minutes in a season shows his softer side by pleadingly asking “Baby, how long will you keep me in the penalty box?”
3. Deion Sanders
Of course Deion Sanders made an awful 1994 rap album called Prime Time. Of course he did.
2. Jason Kidd, Gary Payton, Others
B-Ball's Best Kept Secret is piece of comedy gold given to us in 1994. Epic Records deserves our thanks for such unbelievably existent tracks as “Livin' Legal and Large” by Gary Payton and “What the Kidd Didd” by (you guessed it) Jason Kidd. This could be the most '90's thing ever created.
1. Terry Bradshaw
Former Pittsburgh Steelers QB and Lombardi Trophy winner Terry Bradshaw often ventured into music, and he has a four-album discography to his name. 1976's “I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry” was perhaps the “best” of his country and gospel offerings.