By Taylor Sturm @TSturmRS on July 24, 2014
If you have ever been to any type of sporting event, you have probably had to suffer at the hands of some annoying fan. Annoying fans are a part of the game that will never go away, but we can still make fun of them. Here is a look at the 20 worst types of sports fans. Be warned; some of these types of sports fans may even be you or someone you know.
In any student or fan section, there tends to be a person who screams out random trivia and/or facts every so often. Is it interesting that the athlete eats three live spiders every morning for breakfast and will go for a mid-morning run with chocolate milk? Of course. Is it more important than possibly missing the play of the game? No.
It’s so sweet that you took your girlfriend, boyfriend, mistress, life partner or whatever to the game – said no one ever. Unless the kiss cam is on you, leave your hands and your hormones outside the gates.
The only reason that the college student is on the list of worst sports fans is because they pose a threat no one can control. They’re sleepy, overworked, scared for the future and probably just chugged more cheap beer than Johnny Manziel could ever dream of.
Sometimes, someone will bring a friend with them who doesn’t understand the sport, but, instead of explaining something to them, they allow the friend to struggle with sayings like “Wow. Look how he kicked the puck into the endzone for a home run.”
You know when a little kid is nice because they want something? The Lover is the same thing. He or she is wearing the opposing team’s jersey. They are singing the other team’s fight song. They even cheer when the other team scores. Why are they in a sea of color representing your team and, worse, being friendly?
Who doesn’t like naps? Once you discover caffeine and Netflix, naps become the greatest asset any man or woman can have. However, you or someone you came with paid good money for that ticket to get into the game. Don’t be that person.
As much as I love conference unity, it’s one thing to start chanting “SEC, SEC, SEC” when your team wins a national championship. Your team won, not the conference.
I cannot tell you how many sporting events on TV that I’ve watched where the commentators are overwhelmed by a horrifying screech from the audience. One of these days, the Zombie Apocalypse could be happening, and innocent people believe that it’s just a crazed fan because they’re so used to hearing one. That’s on you, screamer.
If you like to curse, that’s your business. However, to be in a public place, where there are likely children around, spouting off four letter words and phrases that would make your mother wake up in a cold sweat is ill-advised and, quite honestly, stupid.
At every sporting event, but mostly college football, you can find that one die-hard fan who doesn’t care about either team. He or she supports a completely different team from a different stadium and possibly a different state, but is for some reason cheering on both teams. They often turn to look at you and say, “I’m rooting for you guys this week.”
Loudly calling out a random guess at the next play based on tendencies and team strengths, being right one out of ten thousand times and subsequently announcing that “they should hire me as a coach” is not the type of fan you want to be.
Every sports fan has been in a position where they got caught up in the moment to heckle an opposing team. I once led a chant of, “Kevin Stallings uses a Shake Weight.”
It’s okay to invest a lot of emotion in your favorite team. It is not okay to cry as an adult when a team loses. Sports are fantastic, but calm down; it’s just a game.
There is always one person on the sidelines screaming, “Hey!” at the top of their lungs. Do you honestly believe the millionaire athlete is going to stop what they are doing, introduce themselves to you and ask to hang out later?
In its time, humanity has discovered fire, invented the wheel, walked on the moon and discovered that if you press your lips together very tightly you can make a shrill sound that insights fear in the hearts of all.
Beer costs at most sporting events, and yet drunken fans still tend to poor it all over the sober people in the stands.
If I wanted to hear the statistics from a player, I would pull out my smartphone and Google it. Stats Masters are sometimes acceptable, but sometimes the stats can be a bit ridiculous. I mean come on, does anyone really care if he’s 90 percent from three-point range when the new season of Game of Thrones is on?
There are only two reasons to high-five a complete stranger in a sporting event. A text saying you’re an instant millionaire and when your team scores. I don’t know where your hands have been, and quite honestly, don’t want to know.
There are certain situations in a sporting event where you should stand up; there are certain situations where you should be sitting down. This unspoken code can be broken by paying attention to everyone around you. Standing up for an entire game is terrible on your knees, and even worse for your face when someone pushes you down the bleachers.
There are always fans who heckle everyone around them, despite their team not having won anything of importance in 20 years. It’s almost more sad than annoying. This slide doesn’t have a joke, because normally the team itself is a joke.
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