By Eighty Six @86ThePoet on August 26, 2014
Fantasy football team names should be a game all to themselves. So many choices for the Seahawks. Runners up are: "Taking it to the Hauschka", "Farwell that Ends Well", "JR Sweezy Does It", "Highway to Helfet" and "O'Brien Where Art Thou Schofield". Only room for one Terminator on this list, so "Richard Shermanator" also got cut. I'm keeping it clean, so "Rock Out With Your Hawk Out" didn't make it. I'm avoiding anything related to "BJ" Daniels.
It almost happened. My wife just had a baby, and if it was a boy, he'd be Pete Carroll. If it was a girl, she'd be Carroll Pete. Except my wife has an opinion and now she's Alexis Gabrielle. I like it, but Marshawna would have been nicer. Would Lombardi make a weird girl's name? Anyway, all the knuckleheads in my fantasy league would believe me if I said her name was Carroll Pete. So guys, her name's Carroll Pete.
One of the greatest plays in Seahawks history was caused by the fans, not the players. Look it up: NFL Films "Safety First". On the first play of the Super Bowl, the 12th Man made so much noise that Denver Broncos center Manny Ramirez didn't hear Peyton Manning change the snap count, so he hiked it early and over Manning's head for a safety. How many points have your team's fans scored in the Super Bowl?
I almost threw up a picture of the "Tarzan and Jane" musical featuring the music of Phil Collins, but I could never listen to "In the Air Tonight" with joy again. Anyway, what's more primal than a defensive tackle chasing down a dinner of fresh Colin Kaepernick? And besides, once football season starts for real, none of us will be speaking in full sentences until March.
You can make a Skittles reference or any distasteful use of the word lynch, but I chose a classic nod to "My Favorite Martian" starring Ray Walston. Bill Bixby got his start in that show before becoming the good side of the Incredible Hulk. I'll use that as a segue back to Beast Mode. Many writers, including myself, doubt his chances to be fully awesome this year, but he's still one of my favorites, next to Barry Sanders, to watch run.
And if you doubt Marshawn's first round fantasy power this year, you might believe in Robert Turbin or Christine Michael. I got double credit on this one. Do you think the third-year back from Utah State or the second-year guy from Texas A&M is the best handcuff? Frankly, I don't believe in handcuffing. RB depth, yes -- owning backups, no. But both of these guys are a good late-round "what if" pickup.
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