The newly acquired Jose Reyes and third baseman Hanley Ramirez have taken this team spirit thing to a new a level. The dynamic duo decided to dye their well-styled hair with their team colors. The Marlins new uniforms and hats might be some of the worse uniforms I have seen, but that didn’t stop Ramirez and Reyes to make it even worse.
At least old-school uniforms like the Astros’ rainbow or White Sox’ red pinstripes have cache. Or as George Costanza would say, have cache up the ying-yang! These uniforms are just… bad. Really bad. Horenndously, disgustingly, embarrassingly bad. Now, the dying of hair doesn’t help any causes. I just have a strange feeling watching Marlins’ games is going to feel like watching a 1980s baseball game. It will feel like Tony Montana will have club box seats, because only someone who’s in the blow business can like these things! In addition to the hideous home run sculpture out in centerfield, we might as well get a giant disco ball hanging above the pitchers’ mound. Ugh.
At least Ramirez isn’t demanding a trade anymore. Because we all know how good of a shortstop Ramirez is anyway! Kidding – he’s terrible.
All I’m hoping for is Mark Buehrle’s hair remains the same. Because that would not be a good look on Buehrle. However, the Marlins’ team can do whatever the heck they want to Ozzie Guillen. Dye his whole body orange for all I care.
Am I being too harsh on the Marlins’ uniforms? Does anyone actually like these? And if you do, are you over the age of 26? I must know the answers to these questions!
To close, I have to say cool hair, guys. You might be the only two able to pull it off, even though your hair color is the same as a fish’s gills. Yabba habba.