The Los Angeles Angels beat the Texas Rangers 11-3 in Anaheim on Tuesday night. Before this game turned into a laugher of a victory for the Angels, it was a little bit of a laugher for an entirely different reason. In the third inning, with Mitch Moreland on base, Ian Kinsler drove a high first-pitch fastball from Jered Weaver into the seats in left field. Vernon Wells was patrolling left field for Los Angeles, and, well, he did this:
Thanks to the power of technology and some extreme speculation, we can get a glimpse into just what Vernon Wells was thinking.
Wells: Ah, the glory days of a hazy fade-in on a highlight of me at the wall. It’s like a dream. It’s all coming back to me now. I’ve got a good feeling about this one.
Wells: Oh, yeah, I’ve got this one lined up, just like in the All-Star game when I robbed Barry Bonds of that home run. Okay, that was Torii Hunter, but he talks about is so much it kinda feels like it was me. That Torii just does not shut up.
Wells: Wheeeeee! I’m like Mike Trout all about to rob this home run. Maybe then the people of Los Angeles will like me. They love Mike Trout. I can’t figure it out, they just haven’t embraced me like they did back in Toronto. Canadians are just nicer, I guess.
Wells: Oh, crap, that ball was five rows back, I never had a chance. Well, at least I can just take a seat on this ledge right here. This is nice, being out with the bleacher creatures, the working man. These are the guys who I play for.
Wells: Hey, look! A hot dog! DIBS!
Wells: Lemme just reach over here and snag this…
Wells: Ohhh nooooo!
Wells: Real cool, guys, just let me fall. I know you’re not like my Canadian friends, but I didn’t think you’d literally turn a cold shoulder to me. I’m throwing myself at you like a lovestruck sorority girl, and all I get is the Heisman treatment? Oh, and this hot dog. I do have this hot dog.
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