You remember when you had a really big crush on someone in high school, dreaming of the day that you would be together? We all remember that feeling all too well. In some cases, you actually get with your crush and become an item. Well, imagine if that crush turned out to be the worst human being imaginable. That’s exactly how the Miami Marlins feel today with the firing of Ozzie Guillen.
The Ozzaroo was courted by the Marlins for quite some time. So much so, that they actually acquired him via trade with the Chicago White Sox. Yes, someone was dumb enough to actually give up something for Ozzie Guillen. In the beginning, it seemed like a match made in heaven. Not only did Miami get the skipper they wanted, but they signed Mark Buerhle, Jose Reyes, and Heath Bell to rejuvenate the franchise. However, the honeymoon period ended rather quickly.
Not only were the Marlins terrible all season – they were last in the National League East with the record of 69-93 – but Guillen, as always, made sure people kept talking about him. Whether it was praising Fidel Castro, announcing his retirement from Twitter, or getting into a tiff with Bryce Harper, Guillen did whatever he could to stay relevant.
He no longer had the Chicago media to aid him to the spotlight; especially, when his partner-in-crime, Joe Cowley, was suspended from Twitter for being the complete and utter moron he is. So it was hard for Ozzie and the Marlins to get the publicity they were banking on this season.
I only have one word to describe my feelings on that matter: Good.
If I were to pontificate further, I would use a quote from the great the great American philosopher Silky Johnston said:
“I hate you. I hate you. I don’t even know you, and I hate your guts. I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you.”
After sitting through this imbecile managing my favorite team for so long, it’s hard for me to remain objective about Guillen. There isn’t a coach in professional sports that rides on the coattails of having a championship as much as this loser. Luckily for Marlins fans, it only took your owner one season to figure out he’s worthless.
Good riddance, Ozzie. I pray for the game of baseball that I will never see you again.