The Needs For Every MLB Team Going into 2013
You Got What I Need!
Now that the 2012 MLB season is officially over, it’s time to look at what everyone’s needs actually are. Although these are the issues teams need on paper, we don’t really know what the magic formula for winning actually is. I mean, the San Francisco Giants didn’t have the best team on paper in 2012, yet they were dominant in their World Series run.
Some teams obviously need a lot more help than others; therefore, it was hard to narrow it down to one need per team. If your team is in bad shape, I tried to solve your problem in the best way imaginable, even if it is in a comical tone.
I ranked my list of needs by the team’s record, worst to first. I did this because the teams that actually won games need to react on their holes more quickly than the teams with 800 holes in their organization.
Without further ado, here are the needs for each and every MLB team heading into the 2013 season. While some of my suggestions are tongue-in-cheek, most of them are glaring holes that need to be filled; because if they aren’t filled, those teams might be towards the end of this list next season.
Feel free to disagree with me on your favorite team, outside of the humorous ones, of course.
Houston Astros Need Some Cheat Codes
The Houston Astros are not in a very good place right now. They are baseball's worst team, and now they are moving to baseball's best division. *Left, down, right, up x2 Circle, Circle, Square* Congratulations, you unlocked Roger Clemens and Jeff Bagwell!
Chicago Cubs Need an Exocism
Seriously, what can the Chicago Cubs do to turn things around. Get a priest in there and perform some sort of baseball exorcism, because Theo Epstein isn't the saint everyone thinks he is.
Colorado Rockies Need a Bigger Humidor
The Colorado Rockies have a really, really bad pitching staff. I suggest they by a NASA like humidor to help their pitching staff. It might be their only hope.
Minnesota Twins Need a Reliable Innings Eater
The Minnesota Twins are between a rock and a hard place right now, but they need someone to throw some rocks at that hard place (that makes no sense, but you get my drift).
Cleveland Indians Need a RH Power Bat
The Cleveland Indians started out pretty well before hitting the skids. One of their biggest issues is that every one of their batters is left-handed. I'm willing to be we will see a reunion between Terry Francona and Kevin Youkilis.
Miami Marlins Need to Reboot
The Miami Marlins already took a step in the right direction by firing Ozzie Guillen. Let's just hope what remains of the squad can rebound in 2013.
Boston Red Sox Need Jon Lester to be an Ace
The Boston Red Sox need to just forget all about 2012. They also need Jon Lester to front their rotation like we all know he is capable of.
Kansas City Royals Need More Starting Pitchers
The Kansas City Royals are in pretty good shape right now, but they really need a legitimate pitching staff. No more makeshift five-man rotations, KC, go out and get a true starter. No, Ervin Santana is not the answer.
Toronto Blue Jays Need a Medic
I don't think there was a unluckier team out there than the 2012 Toronto Blue Jays If everyone returns healthy in 2013, I will pick the Jays to make the playoffs. They are a good team that just got injured.
New York Mets Need to Spend
It's time for the New York Mets to start acting like a big market again. There's no reason that the Mets should operate like they are the A's or something.
Seattle Mariners Need September Justin Smoak
Ever since acquiring Justin Smoak, the Seattle Mariners have been patiently waiting for this type of production out of the young slugger. If Smoak can stretch his September out for a full season, Seattle might finally have their main power source.
San Diego Padres Need to Move the Fences In
It's always going to be tough on the San Diego Padres to win in their cavernous park.
Pittsburgh Pirates Need Some Corner Outfielders
Although the Pittsburgh Pirates had a surprising season, they really need someone to the left and right of Andrew McCutchen.
Philadelphia Phillies Need a Time Machine
The Philadelphia Phillies need to go back to a time where Ryan Howard and company were elite players.
Arizona Diamondbacks Need Justin Upton
Whether it's playing him or trading him, the Arizona Diamondbacks need Justin Upton to produce at a high level.
Milwaukee Brewers Need an Ace
The Milwaukee Brewers should really go after Zack Greinke again.
Chicago White Sox Need a Third Baseman
There is absolutely no way the Chicago White Sox can enter 2013 with Brent Morel as their starting third baseman.
Los Angeles Dodgers Need to Show Up
On paper, the Los Angeles Dodgers should be one of the best teams in baseball. For that reason, all they need to go is show up and play to their capabilities.
Los Angeles Angels Need a Bullpen
Ernesto Freiri is not the answer long-term. The Los Angeles Angels need to revamp their bullpen if they want to be a World Series favorite next season.
Tampa Bay Rays Need a Catcher
Sorry, Jose Loboton isn't the next Johnny Bench. Why the Tampa Bay Rays traded John Jaso is beyond me.
Atlanta Braves Need a New Leader
Who will be the new leader for the Atlanta Braves now that Chipper Jones is gone?
Baltimore Orioles Need the Same Rabbit's Foot
Despite making the playoffs this season,the Baltimore Orioles still have a whole lot of holes. But as long as they hold on to that rabbitt's foot that helped them win basically every one-run game they were in, they will return to the postseason in 2013.
Texas Rangers Need a New Centerfielder
I'm assuming Josh Hamilton will be an afterthought for the Texas Rangers in 2013; ergo, they need a new centerfielder.
Cincinnati Reds Need a Third Baseman
The Cincinnati Reds really don't have a whole lot of needs for 2013, but with the retirement of Scott Rolen they will need a new third baseman.
Oakland Athletics Need Legitimate Power
The 2012 Oakland Athletics were a fantastic story. However, a lot of their power sources came from players who aren't likely to repeat it in 2013. The A's need a legitimate, consistent power hitter in the middle of their lineup.
Washington Nationals Need to Pitch Stephen Strasburg
Umm, don't shut down Stephen Strasburg again. Kthxbai.
New York Yankees Need an Outfielder
With a majority of their outfielders hitting the open market, the New York Yankees really need to get an outfield bat in some way shape or form. Andre Ethier would look pretty good in pinstripes, just saying.
St. Louis Cardinals Need More Pixie Dust
The St. Louis Cardinals ran out of their patented pixie dust at the worst time. Once they reorder some from Neverland, they will dominate once again.
Detroit Tigers Need a Closer
During the playoffs, it was pretty evident that the Detroit Tigers needed a new closer. Joakim Soria would be a great low risk/high reward move for Detroit
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