Former Detroit Tiger Ryan Raburn made a name for himself in that city. Raburn made a name for himself in Detroit as the personification of perpetual disappointment. Yes, even in a city known for its crime rates, corrupt mayors, and struggling auto industry, Raburn still won out as the iconic bummer.
Like frantically sliding onto the toilet seat just in time to narrowly escape a “life or mess” situation, it was a sweet relief to Tigers’ fans when the team finally released the eternally under-performing Raburn this past November. The situation became all the more hilarious for Tigers’ fans when the division-rival Cleveland Indians signed Raburn to a minor-league deal this past week, continuing the trend started by the Detroit River and Lake Erie of Cleveland accepting all the trash that washes out of Detroit.
Hasn’t the city of Cleveland suffered enough? In the last ten years they’ve lost LeBron James, they’ve lost The Drew Carey Show and now they’ve signed Raburn. Plus, it’s not like the ten years have been uncharacteristically tragic for Cleveland; frankly, the last ten years are just more in line with the theme of tragedy for Clevelanders, which has also included Jose Mesa’s Meltdown, The Drive and their river catching on fire.
Perhaps the Indians see something in Raburn the Tigers didn’t. Perhaps the Tribe’s management is just taking a low-risk with a potentially moderate reward. Either way, Tigers’ fans are happy to cleanse themselves of that mistake who was batting .091 at one point last year and finished the 2012 campaign batting around .171.
Raburn will be 32 years old when the season starts; if he was ever going to produce consistently in the MLB it would have happened already. Like most things coming out of Detroit, Raburn is not going to perform better now that he’s saddled with higher mileage.
Good luck with your investment, Cleveland. At the very least, you made a lot of people in Detroit chuckle with your Raburn signing.