Philadelphia Phillies Search for Answers After Charlie Manuel Struck by Tricycle

Derick Hingle – USATODAY Sports

Philadelphia Phillies manager Charlie Manuel was run over by a tricycle during their spring training game versus the Houston Astros on Sunday, March 10th, and forensics teams are still searching for answers. Phillies Nation has been, rightfully, ripe with finger pointing since, but the blame for this colossal failure in security and trust rests squarely on one man’s shoulders: pitching coach Rich Dubee. The real question is, was Dubee working alone, or was he merely a henchman in a much larger, more sinister plan?

Here’s what happened: Charlie Manuel was standing in between catching coach Mick Billmeyer and the aforementioned Dubee, when a between inning tricycle race begun. The path of the race took the tricycles on a direct route past the trio of coaches.

Upon seeing that he may be in harm’s way Manuel thought to himself “He [the rider] better get over”, and did not give the cyclist another look, as his trusted adviser and friend was Rich Dubee was next to him. Charlie knew (thought he knew) Rich Dubee would not allow harm to befall his mentor. Instead, Dubee leaped out of harms way at the last second and the vehicle struck Manuel. Afterward Manuel was singing an entirely different tune.

“He got me! He ran over me with a three-wheeler!” the 69 year-old manager shouted. “He’s supposed to save me.” “Dubee was supposed to stop him there, isn’t he? He’s supposed to save me.” Obviously Manuel was shaken after the incident, and was just looking for some comforting words to help him get through the visible pain he was in.

Billmeyer and Dubee laughed hysterically after the incident, which makes me wonder just how deep this scandal goes, given the two did not even attempt to hide their excitement. Additionally, after the incident Dallas Green, the Philadelphia Phillies front-office advisor, shouted “Watch those tricycles, Charlie!” with a sinister smile on his face.

Charlie Manuel is currently in the final year of his contract., and negotiating a new contract can be stressful for both management and employees, but trying to hobble your senior citizen manager before the season is a classless and deplorable move worthy of the New York Mets.

This article, if you couldn’t tell, was a complete joke. Charlie was actually run over by a tricycle, but it only got his toes. There was no sinister undertone, in fact, everyone, including Manuel, got a good laugh out of it. These quotes, though actually said, are taken out of context from here. The Phillies won the game 7-1 on a 5 inning one run performance by Cole Hamels.

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