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15 Scary MLB Players You’d Hate to Meet In A Dark Alley

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15 MLB Players You Should Be Scared To Meet In A Dark Alley

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Joy R. Absalon-USA TODAY Sports

Imagine you're walking back to your house. It's a night just like any other night, but you really want to get home. You're about thirty minutes away from your house, but you could take a shortcut through a dark alley and be there in 15. You decide to take the dark alley. As you walk down the alley you feel that something isn't right. You can hear footsteps creeping up behind you. You turn to see what it is and it's your worst nightmare: a MLB Player.

Wait a minute, that doesn't sound too bad.

Well actually, there could be some MLB players who would be horrible to see in a dark alley. There's varying degrees of players that you wouldn't want to see in an alley after dark. A 6-foot-6, 275-pound first basemen would definitely not be on my list, but neither would a 5-foot-10, 177-pound infielder who is known around the league as a 'crazy guy.' What about PED users? It's like they have superpowers. One wrong move with those guys and it's a wrap.

As I pondered who I did and didn't want to encounter on a night stroll through an alley, I was able to come up with a plethora of players who could possibly fit the bill. I opened up my laptop, put some names down on a list, and was able to bring the names down to 15. So who exactly would you not want to come across on a late night stroll? Take a look to find out the 15 scariest MLB players who you wouldn't want to come across in a dark alley.

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15. Heath Bell

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Mark J. Rebilas - USA TODAY sports
Yes, Heath Bell is probably a bit slower than most on this list. Still, the man has an electric arm and a thick build you don't want to see coming at you in a dark alley.
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14. Ronald Belisario

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Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

Ronald Belisario is definitely an oddball to make this list. If his wildness on the mound translates into real life, you don't want to see this guy anywhere near you.

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13. Adam Dunn

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Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Adam Dunn is an oldie, but goodie on this list. A guy with as much pop in the bat as he has is a force to be reckoned with. I wouldn't want to cross paths with this guy.

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12. Joba Chamberlain

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Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Since joining the Detroit Tigers, Joba Chamberlain has been through quite the transformation. He's gone from respectable-looking ball player to wild man. I'd stay away from that 250-pound beast in a dark alley.

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11. Prince Fielder

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Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Prince Fielder is definitely someone you don't want to come across walking home from your late-night snack run. Fielder is probably dying to get his hands on some new sweets. If you picked up some lollipops, avoid Fielder at all costs.

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10. Giancarlo Stanton

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Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

Giancarlo Stanton is one of the nicest guys in MLB, but boy, does he look scary. Also, seeing the way he demolishes fastballs makes me think that the average person wouldn't want him coming towards you in a dark alley.

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9. Jonathan Broxton

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Frank Victores-USA TODAY Sports

As a lifelong follower of the Los Angeles Dodgers, I can tell you Jonathan Broxton is no stranger to late-game meltdowns. Let's hope the 310-pounder didn't just blow a game when you two run into each other in a dark alley late Saturday night.

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8. Ryan Howard

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Jonathan Dyer-USA TODAY Sports

At 6-foot-4 and 240 pounds, Ryan Howard is one of the most physically intimidating players on this list. His sheer size alone makes him very scary to encounter cruising down an alley after dark.

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7. Bryce Harper

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Brad Barr-USA TODAY Sports

Bryce Harper is probably the best athlete on this list. He's probably stronger, faster, and more coordinated than you. There's no escaping this guy in a late-night alley confrontation.

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6. Aroldis Chapman

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Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

Aroldis Chapman made it this high on the list due to the dynamite left arm he has. If this guy can reach 100 mph consistently, he can definitely turn your lights out with one punch. Seeing him in a dark alley is a prospect that I fail to get excited about.

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5. Ryan Braun

Braun
Getty Images

Ryan Braun. If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying right? This guy will pull out all the stops in a dark alley showdown. I'd walk the other direction if I saw him in a dark alley.

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4. Zack Greinke

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Daniel Shirey-USA TODAY Sports

Take one good look at Zack Greinke and tell me that he isn't crazy. If you don't think he is, take a look at the tape of him going shoulder-first into Carlos Quentin during a bench clearing brawl. You'd want to stay away from Greinke by any means possible.

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3. Alex Rodriguez

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The Star-Ledger-USA TODAY Sports

Wherever Alex Rodriguez goes, bad luck follows. Rodriguez might not physically threaten you, but it's almost guaranteed that his bad luck will rub off on you.

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2. Francisco Rodriguez

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Francisco Rodriguez's off-field troubles definitely raise some red flags about his mental state. I wouldn't even want to see this guy on a crowded street in Beverly Hills, let alone an empty dark alley.

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1. Brian Wilson

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Robert Mayer-USA TODAY Sports

Just imagine Brian Wilson jumping out at you from a dark, secluded corner in an alley. If that's not the scariest thing in the world to you, then I don't know what is!