New York Mets Will Petition MLB To Abolish First Base

By Patrick M Arthur
Ike Davis
The Star-Ledger-USA TODAY Sports

Don’t laugh – it has happened before! Prior to 1845, baseball fields presented any number of bases, or “stakes,” or whatever, from at least five to 19. Does anyone reading this honestly long for the time of bang-bang plays at 12th? Exactly; you’ll get over losing first, too.

“Second, Third and Home – In Time for the Daily Show!” That’ll be the New York Mets’ motto. “We gotta do something about these game times,” Mets co-owner Fred Wilpon might whisper in the ear of retiring MLB commissioner and longtime bestie Bud Selig. “Four bases are simply too old-school for modern attention spans,” he’d slip into the backpack of Selig’s wandering mind.

Whatever it takes for Wilpon to rid his team of Ike Davis and Lucas Duda has to be in play at this point. If that means long conning the old(er) man who graciously refinanced Wilpon’s debt and let him keep his ball club against all notions of logic and consistency, then so be it.

Seriously, what options do the Mets have left outside of voodoo?

Both players are currently out of action with relatively minor injuries. Duda’s left hamstring is sore and Davis’ “tight” right calf has him in a walking boot. They should return to game action, at least in a DH role, starting with Duda (2-for-7 in three games played this spring) on Thursday. I can’t tell if this is the good news or the bad news.

GM Sandy Alderson tried to trade Davis this offseason, to no avail. Think his value has risen since? Alderson would be lucky to get Duda for him.

Shoot, that’s right. He’s already got Duda; couldn’t dump him, either. Reports say Alderson was asking for “too much in return.” Like what, a used Chevy Cavalier?

Davis has the talent; Duda has the determination. If earning the starter’s job at first base meant the winner would absorb the loser’s essence, like in Highlander, then there would be no problem. But that’s not likely. One of these guys is going to be in a platoon with Josh Satin when the season starts, then proceed to be half a decent ballplayer from April until October.

With all reasonable options seemingly exhausted, the Mets will have no choice but to do something drastic. First base – you’re outta here! Problem solved, payroll saved. And while we’re at it, think anyone will really miss left field?

That’s more room for seats, Mr. Commissioner.


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