I despise journalist who write in first person. It’s cheap. It’s lazy. It’s unprofessional. It’s distracting. It undermines any meaning that the article once contained. Again, I despise it. Apparently the St. Louis Cardinals do not realize this. They are forcing me to commit what I consider to be an act of treason. They are [...]
After one of Jamie Garcia’s more impressive starts during his 2010 rookie season Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright gave him a very sincere tip of the cap. They both made statements to members of the press, myself included, along the lines of, “This kid is as good as us.” Carpenter, a former Cy Young winner, [...]
St. Louis, Mo – The Cardinals newly appointed young slugging savior of St. Louis has been making a dramatic impact since his arrival in the Gateway City. Matt Adams has taken Arch dwellers by storm with his .351 average, .400 on-base percentage, five doubles and as many RBI’s, and home-run in just ten games. He’s [...]
St. Louis, Mo – It is becoming increasingly evident that the St. Louis Cardinals are in desperate need of a true, quality left handed specialist with one of the best mustaches in the fine country of ours. Now this is not to take away from the supreme talents of Mr. Marc Rzepczynski, who posted up [...]
St. Louis, Mo – My dear friends, the evil dark beast known as the injury bug has reared its evil head once again; Matt Carpenter has been assigned to the 15-day disabled list with a strained right side muscle. Carpenter was hitting .288 with 20 RBI’s, three homeruns, nine doubles, three triples, and sixteen runs [...]
St. Louis, Mo – Never fear, my cheerers of the valiant St. Louis Cardinals, for the Red Bird’s knight in shining armor is returning to his proper throne at the head of the round table. Adam Wainwright is once again becoming the Adam Wainwright that fans of the Birds on the Bat have known and [...]
St. Louis, Mo – The ladies of St. Louis swoon at the very mention of his name. Their knees buckle as they faint at the sight of him while gentlemen try to figure out this strange obsession with the Cardinals starting catcher. Whatever it is that forces girl’s heard to skip a beat over Yadier [...]
St. Louis, Mo – The St. Louis Cardinals have released 2008 World Series champion, J.C. Romero and called up the young right handed pitcher, Eduardo Sanchez, from Triple-A Memphis to join them for tonight’s match-up against the Chicago Cubs. J.C. Romero’s release comes after three consecutive catastrophic appearances; this span includes the Cardinals May [...]
Go into your closet, kids, and break out your mother’s favorite broom because finally, ladies and gentlemen, the Cardinals have finished off a sweep. St. Louis victimized the Arizona Diamondbacks in all three games of the series as they outscored the desert rats 22-9. It is almost a mystical wonder that the Red Birds, who [...]
Taking a cue from “Jesus” in the “Big Lebowski,” Carlos Beltran is informing opposing pitchers “Don’t mess (censored version) with the Beltran.” The newest power hitting member of the Cardinals has proved to be just what the doctor ordered for St. Louisans to forget about a certain former first baseman that decided to venture westward. [...]
