Ever hear the phrase: “If it’s not broken why fix it?” The phrase is meant to justify a product that does not require any further development or alteration. In other words: “its fine, stop messing with it.” Granted, there are times when an alteration works quiet well, such as; the Turducken or a monkey with a tambourine. Human beings are astounding creatures. Most of the time we have just enough curiosity, to explore enough to be successful. Sometimes, we pass that fine line of curiosity and the results are disastrous.
MMA has been around for centuries. At the beginning, it was essentially Pankration, but over the years, it has gone through some logical alterations and became what we all enjoy, when watching UFC or other promotions. As it is, it’s awesome. It’s intense enough to get a good rush, either watching or participating in. But it’s regulated enough, for it to be considered a dignified sport and not just a form of human cockfighting, or worse.
It seems MMA, is not safe from the curse of over curiosity. All around the world people are taking MMA to the next level, a ridiculous level of epic proportions. Some of these variations are really not that bad, just unnecessary, while some are just plain stupid. Here are a few of those variations.
Tag Team MMA, unlike tag team wrestling, does not work. Tag team wrestling works, because it’s staged. An actual tag team, combat scenario is very boring and looks silly. The rules have been altered, so that the only legal hits to the head are slaps, thus making submissions the primary means of victory. It is hard to follow and lacks the simple intensity that makes a one on one match interesting.
XARM, which I’m guessing is short for extreme arm wrestling, is a fast growing sport, created by Art Davie. Davie is one of the producers of the first UFC and now he has created a human version of ‘Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots.’ XARM combines the rules of MMA and competitive arm wrestling. Means of winning include; pinning the arm, KO or submission. Look, arm wrestling is manly, MMA is manly, but combining the two is just stupid. The way I see it, either get really good at arm wrestling or MMA, not both. The matches are clumsy, uninteresting and makes the movie ‘Over The Top’, look like a pillar of intellect.
Finally, we have Footbrawl, a controversial sport, created in Australia, in the 80’s. Footbrawl combines the brutality of Football, Rugby and Martial Arts into one nice, convoluted package. However, this adult version of Calvin Ball does look pretty fun, just something that could never be taken seriously. Watching it is like; a group of martial artist got together, tried to play a legit game of Rugby and midway through; forgot what the rules were. It’s pretty awesome if not juvenile.
MMA is about as awesome as its going to ever get. It can stand on its own merits, without making ridiculous changes. If I ever want a good alteration to something, I will go to my local dry cleaners.