Dana White, UFC Should Merge With United Nations

Dana White

Jayne Kamin-Oncea – USA TODAY Sports

It’s an iconic image: Dana White stands between two fighters at weigh-in. They pose, scowl at one another and face off in postures that ramp up the tension of the impending brawl — enticing viewers with the carnage to come.

Imagine if you will, that two fighters facing off are not Anderson Silva and Chris Weidman, but rather Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin. The setting is not the floor of an events center, but the main Parliamentary floor of the United Nations in New York City.

Obama and Putin square off, the aggression builds to a boil and just before the two can start gnashing at one another, everyone’s favorite peach-domed mediator steps in and separates the two: “Save it for the cage, boys. Come on now.”

Settling grudges in a controlled environment has worked in MMA for the better part of 20 years. It is a fact that international disputes, sanctions and embargoes are inevitable. Rather than racking up a human death toll and urging the military industrial complex along in its resource-consuming path, perhaps the leaders of nations could weigh in, face off and slug it out in the Octagon.

Afterwards, doubts, questions and concerns could be mediated by White himself. He would stand at the podium in front of an international panel of exhausted world leaders on either side, explaining their views and strategies while icing down fat lips and shiners.

If great UFC Fight Night numbers hit in the 300,00 range, imagine how many people worldwide will tune in and watch Obama deliver a Silva-type front kick to Putin’s face and drop him like a sack of fertilizer? Talk about huge numbers. The revenue generated could go to developing alternative fuel industries wherein all the displaced workers from Lockheed-Martin could have jobs.

It is true that the North American rivalry between Nick Diaz and Georges St. Pierre drew huge numbers. How about a match between Japan and North Korea? Watching Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe deliver a Tatsuya Kawajiri-style takedown of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un would break viewing records for sure.

A bad idea, maybe. So is World War III. Peace talks are long and arduous, while MMA fights are done in 25 minutes or less. Perhaps violence is the answer after all.

Luke Schmaltz is a Combat Sports writer for Follow him on Twitter @lukeschmaltz, like him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google