MMA Fans Are A Bunch of Fanatical, Bloodthirsty Geeks

By Luke Schmaltz


MMA Fans
Mark J. Rebilas – USA TODAY Sports

There are two types of MMA fans. One are well-informed fight geeks armed with a litany of statistics, specs, concerns, favorite picks and gripes about matchups. These types study the sport almost to a fault, magnifying minuscule details and engaging in heated discussions about who really won the Georges St-Pierre vs. Johny Hendricks fight, whether striking is more important than wrestling, and the specifics nuances of Jon Jones‘ fighting technique.

On the other hand, you have a roaring horde of beer swilling rubberneckers whose highest aspirations are to witnesses to a guy like Dan Henderson knock a bloke like Michael Bisping out cold. These hollering cloddish gasbags go wild for the dazzle of a spinning back kick or a soaring overhand right that connects on the button, and throw booing tantrums of disapproval when a fight turns into a ground game chess match of patience and will.

These two archetypes rarely interact and hardly ever cross-pollinate. If you fall somewhere in the middle, you may have a hard time finding kindred spirits at an MMA event.

The unique dichotomy at work is that hanging out in one circle will inevitably drive any sane person towards the other contingent out of sheer frustration. If you try and converse with a fight geek, you will quickly be made to understand that you know nothing about Uriah Faber‘s stats, that you can’t explain why Robbie Lawler will beat Jake Ellenberger at UFC 173 and that Demetrius “Mighty Mouse” Johnson is actually only 5-foot-3.

Park yourself amid of a hive of bleary-eyed howling knuckle draggers and rub shoulders for a few. You will experience a bodily spike in testosterone production, an unexplainable thirst for overpriced light beer and a strange tendency for your lower jaw to jut forward like the mandible of a confused gorilla.

The best strategy is to take the rare approach of oscillating between the two, with your main concern being to minimize your annoyance while managing to have a good time. Who knows, you might even learn something or at the very least get in touch with your inner mongoloid.

Luke Schmaltz is a Combat Sports writer for Follow him on Twitter @lukeschmaltz, like him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google.

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