Dana White Should Teach Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un How to be Covert Dictators

By Luke Schmaltz
Dana White
David Manning – USA TODAY Sports

Make no mistake about it; the UFC is a dictatorship. The moods of Dana White control of the fate of many just as the whims of Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un determine the realities of millions.

The difference is that White masks his cutthroat thirst for money and power with gregarious pandering and slippery language while Putin and Jong Un flagrantly wave their hatred for humanity in blatantly unfurled flags of contempt.

This has led populations of the free world to view these political pariahs as poster boys of un-American leadership while a man cut from the same cloth is viewed as a respectable participant in western athletic commerce.

While the average beer chugging MMA fan may view White as the dispenser of the swill who quells their bloodlust, fighters like Nate Diaz, John Finch and Jake Shields may beg to differ. Just as colorful language has been outlawed in Putin’s dominion, having a bad run of fights or an opinion about your pay scale will get a slugger canned from the premier fighting league in the world.

Mouth off to UFC brass and you very well may suffer the fate of Tito Ortiz, Nick Diaz or Quenton “Rampage” Jackson. These men are entitled to expressing their viewpoints, but by defying the perceived “good guy” are instead painted as rogue villains by the UFC PR machine. From a stateside viewpoint, however, this is not so bad a fate. Do the same in Russia or North Korea and the reigning hatemongers will have your throat slit in front of your children. Leaders of these countries need to tone it down a bit and get in with the cool kids.

White should sit down with Putin and Un and give them a quick briefing in the fine art of pandering and crafting a positive public image while covertly operating as a business focused on turning a profit at all costs.

While their approaches are different, the results are same. Subjects of the kingdoms lorded over by these men dare not say a word in defiance, lest they be shunned to obscurity as a fighter or thrown into prison as a citizen.

White is a trendsetter in modern day Machiavellian tactics while his Eastern counterparts are stuck in the past, fumbling about in good old 20th Century fascism. These guys need to catch up with the times. If their images improve and they show up smiling cage-side at UFC events, you’ll know they have heeded this advice, made alliances with White and finally grown hip to modern trends.

Luke Schmaltz is a Combat Sports writer for RantSports.com. Follow him on Twitter @lukeschmaltz, like him on Facebook or add him to your network on Google.

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