Carmelo Anthony Organizes Pre-Season Tanking Camp

By Nir Regev

Debby Wong-US PRESSWIRE

Carmelo Anthony, Amare Stoudemire and Tyson Chandler organized a preseason training camp this week, so they can focus on the nuances of the finely-tuned offensive system known as “Pass to Carmelo”. A very complex system in nature, few teams possess the technical know-how and overall basketball IQ to perform “Pass to Carmelo” cohesively. Least of which the New York Knicks.

Therefore, a few players of the team decided to setup their own pre-season training camp to prepare for the actual training camp. A pre-season tanking camp, if you will, to get fans a taste of what’s to come in the 2012-2013 season.

Carmelo Preaches Team-Play

Anthony has always been the first to share. Whether it’s the ball or that last glazed Krispy Kreme Raymond Felton has his sights on. Anthony is the first to make a sacrifice.

He’s even willing to look out for the best interests of the team! Last season, he saved owner James Dolan a hefty sum by convincing him former Knick Jeremy Lin’s contract was ‘ridiculous’. Anthony is the Mother Teresa of basketball, always looking to give and give.

“I think it was a great opportunity for me and Carmelo to be on a team like that and share some time off court” – Tyson Chandler

The Fundamentals of Three-Point Chucking

Other Knicks were invited to the training camp though absolutely no other names were mentioned. It’s safe to say the always hardworking Smith brothers, came out to teach the rest of the team how to maintain composure when missing your first 15 three-point attempts. Just stay the course and keep going, one of them has to go in eventually. Mission accomplished.

Bonding the Way Only ISO Can

Few things in this life are guaranteed, except the security of effortless one on one play on the Knicks. It’s a thing of beauty really, the Knicks have never believed in excelling in older passé schemes like passing the ball around. That’s for teams in the lottery, and the Knicks never make it there. But if somehow such a thing were to happen, the picks would be traded immediately.

Pssh…

That was a close one.

“I’m proud of the guys for being willing to come back early and come together to bond as a team” – Tyson Chandler

Amare: This Year Will be Different

Operation “Pass to Carmelo” is sure to be a bona fide success. This is the year ‘Pass to Carmelo” will have teams shivering in the Knicks presence. Look out league. You better hide you wife, hide your husband, and hide your donuts, because “Pass to Carmelo” is no longer just the Knicks only offensive play, it’s a bonding experience.

Till next time I’m Nir Regev, RantSports resident Standup Comedian.
See more of my work at: BSPN, BroScience.org, HecklerSpray, and on Youtube.

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