X

Have feedback / suggestions? Let us know!

NBA

NBA Free Agency Placed in the Context of Real Life

Mark Cuban

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

There’s nothing quite like the spending sprees, praise-laden “meetings”, and outright begging that surround the annual period of NBA Free Agency each June and July as the draft passes by and there’s a few months until the start of the next season.

Guys like Dwight Howard and LeBron James milk every cent and every second of exposure from the process. It’s just as much about brand-building and shining the star as it is about finding the right fit professionally. The process, by nature, is a spectacle which is absurd if you take a step back to view it from a different set of eyes.

There’s this average Joe, let’s call him Joe.

Joe has worked for a nationally-recognized, western Montana based carpet design firm for 10 years now. His talents are known around the industry as being well-refined, ahead-of-his-time, let’s even say, visionary.

Joe’s three-year contract expires this summer and he’s a free agent. Carpet design firms from around the country immediately contact him offering meetings which will include performances from regionally-specific rappers, fully-stocked lier jets for travel and dinners at the most expensive and chic restaurants the city has to offer.

New York.

Los Angeles.

Dallas.

Toronto.

They are all potential new homes for the carpet visionary from western Montana.

Joe could make as much as 25, hell, even 30 thousand if he plays his cards right and manipulates the process in his favor! He feels a shred of loyalty  western Montana — after all, everyone knows this is the epicenter of the art of carpet — but when the big city comes calling, the bright lights could be hard to ignore.

What will he do? I know one thing he’ll do — take advantage of the gifts sent his way. Listen to the glowing praise. Enjoy the regionally-specific rap.

Maybe even film “The Story of Carpet Design Visionary Joe and his Mega-Career Decision.” The sky’s the limit.

See the point?

If we are all expected to be in awe of the process of NBA Free Agency, then let us all suspend realization of what a ridiculous and utterly exorbitant process it is when placed in the context of real life. In the context of the daily cubicle worker who is just trying to hide their loathing for their employer enough to make it to the next paycheck and put food on the table.

If you’re willing to do that, be my guest. Enjoy the suspension of reality.

After all, it’s a “free” country.

Right?

Kris Hughes is a Senior Writer for Rant Sports. You can follow Kris on TwitterGoogle and Facebook