NBA: Top 5 Early-Season Crybabies In 2013-14

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These Baller Babies Need a Timeout

Brooklyn Nets Bench Bunch
Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

To wrap up this first full month of the NBA 2013-14 season, I would like to welcome these players into my latest list of inductees and returning members of the "Professional Ballers Bawlers Club."

These guys rule the court both through their play and their self-absorbed soft spots to take the drama king throne. Even before the beginning of preseason, these athletes have let their fame from the game get the worst of them by showing poor sportsmanship, complaining and whining.

We can count on these drama kings to run with their tails between their legs and hang their heads down in shame if they lose a game, or get into over-defensive mode when they feel personally offended by professional feedback. If they were not high-profile players, I wonder if they still would express their emotions as openly. Since they are, if I were a ref or a coach, I would send them to the sideline for a timeout.

One of these divos took to social media when he got hyper-sensitive about another player’s comment. Another talked smack about his former head coach when he really should look at his own lame game.

Others have shown the look of defeat from getting beat instead of taking the heat, dusting off their feet and getting set to achieve. In other words, they have a tough time accepting loss as a challenge to improve and let it bring them down for all of us fans to see.

Thank you, prissy players, because we get kicks and grins out of your foolishness. Now be prepared to amaze us on the floor like you are paid and expected to do, and please take no harm or foul in my remarks.

My recommendation for you, Rant readers: play Balla Baby by Chingy in the background, or at least on the brain while checking out my slideshow, as this tune and the lyrics back up my rants about these drama kings.

Elaine Dispo is a Dallas Mavericks writer for Follow her on Twitter, "Like" her on Facebook or add her to your network on Google.

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5. Chris Kaman

Chris Caveman Kaman
Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Who is this Los Angeles Lakers center to rag on his former head coach, Rick Carlisle of the Dallas Mavericks, when the two teams had a reunion on Nov. 6? "Mr. Clean" lookalike, why don’t you clean the court with your game instead of going off on the Mavs, who gave you chance to step up while power forward Dirk Nowitzki was out? This Texas coach led Dallas to the NBA Finals before you were around, and he certainly can do it without you. How about you check yourself, "Caveman," by retreating to your man cave and reflecting on your value as a player in the league? Your former coach has already deemed his worth with a championship.

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4. Paul Pierce

Paul Pierce
Kelley L Cox-USA TODAY Sports

This Boston Celtics-turned-Brooklyn Nets small forward is sweating the small stuff. After Boston teammate Ray Allen went down to the Southeast Division to play for the Miami Heat, the Atlantic Division baller, along with two-time teammate Kevin Garnett, pretty much banned Allen from their lives. As of this season, Allen admits that he still has not heard from his fellow 2008 champs after they were supposedly so tight. Talk about a “pierce” of the heart. C’mon, bros, y’all moved on from Boston, but had to give your boy beef for doing the same first in 2012?

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3. Kevin Garnett

Kevin KG Garnett
Sam Sharpe-USA TODAY Sports

Pierce's partner from the Celts and the Nets has not done as well with Brooklyn lately, even when head coach Jason Kidd planned to rest him instead of playing him in back-to-back games, which Garnett was not cool about. This PF may have more to cry about in the near future when Nowitzki passes him to take over the No. 14 spot in the all-time NBA leading scorers list. If I could send a singing telegram to this past-his-prime player, I would bring on Emotion by the Bee Gees to KG.

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2. Dwight Howard

Cry Dwi Dwight Howard
Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

"D12" needs some Vitamin B12 for his bitterness! The Houston center clearly was upset after his performance at the American Airlines Center on November 20, when Dallas, one of his offseason suitors, hosted and defeated him and his new team. Mavs swingman Vince Carter, who was his teammate with the Orlando Magic, even called out Dwight for being a “crybaby” that night. "Dwi," there's no need to cry; just slightly sulk, it'll be all right.

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1. Dwyane Wade

Cry Dwy Dwyane Wade
Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports

When Oklahoma City Thunder's outspoken PF Kevin Durant declared that his former Thunder teammate James Harden should replace shooting guard D-Wade on the Sports Illustrated Top 10 ballers list, the Heat guard added fuel to the fire, with a photo post of a handwritten note on Instagram. Seriously, "Dwy," why cry? Or at least, why not hash this out privately instead of publicly humiliating yourself? This issue is juvenile. Just back up your game instead of simply saying you've still got it, which only complicates matters in the long run.