Andrew Bynum Is Living the New American Dream

By Kris Hughes
Andrew Bynum
David Banks-USA TODAY Sports

So-called professional basketball player Andrew Bynum is living the new American Dream:

Never produce at the job you’re paid to do, still get paid for it, and chill with a bad haircut.

Most recently, Bynum was shipped from the Cleveland Cavaliers to the Chicago Bulls in return for swingman Luol Deng in a successful attempt by the Bulls to dump a giant mass of salary to make other moves down the road. Bynum was summarily released by the Bulls earlier today before he ever actually played a single minute in the Windy City.

Not that he would have anyway.

After a few semi-productive seasons from 2007-2012 with the Los Angeles Lakers during which time Bynum averaged 14.5 points and 9.5 rebounds per game, various bowling and recreational-activity related knee injuries have kept the massive center from seeing much time on the hardwood.

For anyone.

Nominally, Bynum was a member of the Cavaliers for the 2012-2013 season, but he appeared in only 24 games averaging around eight points and five rebounds per game, after nominally being a part of the Philadelphia 76ers roster for the 2011-2012 season but never actually seeing the light of the day at the Wells Fargo Center.

But Kris, you’ll say, he’s been in the league for nine years! He’s earned the right to be a consistent drain on the finances of any team with the lack of fortune to have him on a roster!


This would be akin to saying your local sanitary worker has the right to take a year or two off here and there because he’s earned it, rivers of excrement flowing through the streets be damned.

Andrew Bynum, by design, is a professional basketball player. By practice, he’s a poster-child for living the new American dream.

Do little. Get paid a ton.

Rock some awful haircuts. Chill and laugh off the haters.



Kris Hughes is a Senior Writer, Business Analyst and College Content Coordinator for Rant Sports.

You can follow Kris on TwitterGoogle Plus or Facebook.

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