By Cody Williams @TheSizzle20 on April 1, 2014
Sacramento Kings center DeMarcus “Boogie” Cousins played an early April Fool’s prank on everyone by announcing his fake R&B album. The album was called “Misunderstood” with Cousins going by the moniker Boogie Smooth. This started the wheels turning about what other NBA players should put out R&B albums. Here are 10 players with their R&B names and the name of their hypothetical debut albums.
You have to let Nick Young keep the Swaggy P nickname, but if he’s going to lacing tracks with rhythm and blues, he’s going to tone it down and get a little sensual. This one was a no-brainer.
Paul Pierce makes this list solely so he can have an album called “Consequences.” Truth and consequences is just too classic to pass up.
Chris Kaman bought a cow in the preseason with Lakers teammates so he could stock up on beef. His R&B alter ego carries that same mentality. The caveman getting down would be a magical happening of epic proportions.
Caron Butler’s nickname is Tuff Juice, but when he gets behind a microphone for R&B, he’s Sopht Juice. Of course, everyone is going to want to have a drink of the saucy vocals of Sopht Juice.
Another play on an already present nickname, but when you have a Russian player whose nickname is an assault weapon, having him sing about love not war is rather serendipitous.
Tim Duncan is one of the most seasoned veterans in the game, which he’ll bring to the studio as well. Just like he’s all about the fundamentals on the basketball court, he’ll let you know about the fundamentals of life and love through sweet melodies.
There’s no better wordplay when talking about R&B than the type that involves 90s sci-fi movies. Enter Shawn Marion to fit that bill.
Melo transforms to Mellow in the R&B world and sings about the trials of life and being stuck fighting alone. You know, kind of like how he’s had to do with the Knicks for much of the year.
Stick Stickity might be the best nickname in the league. With a name like Stick Stickity, not having a self-titled R&B album would just be blasphemous to the music gods.
If you don’t get the joke here, just Google “J.R. Smith pipe” and you’ll get it soon enough.
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