NCAA Basketball

Future Recruiting Mishaps

Recently Indiana Hoosiers head coach Tom Cream performed a Twitter gaffe. Thinking he was sending a potential recruit a direct message Cream inadvertently sent out the following message to the public, “I am doing great. I have been thinking about you alot since last weekend. A whole lot. How are you doing?”

Completely awkward and totally hilarious, Cream showed a lack of computer know-how and an ability to be a recruiting creeper. While his less than stellar wording is not a recruiting violation it did get me thinking. Given the technology available to coaches today what kind of recruiting mishaps will happen in the future.

Sure the NCAA has some wacky rules to begin with. A limited amount of times you can text a recruit to only being able to “visit” the prospect during certain times of the year. Most of these rules are the NCAA flexing its fake muscles(The NCAA for all intents and purposes is just a building). Even with that said, coaches throughout the country find new and inventive ways to break the rules every year.

In the not so distant future coaches will find other, more fun, ways to make fools out of themselves. Here are 10 to look out for.

10: A coach(Rick Pitino) will think he is sending a direct message to his mistress. Instead of the woman receiving the message a top prospect will see get to see the coach nude.

9: While on a recruiting visit down south a coach(Ben Howland) will take his top prospect to a Chic-Fil-A. While talking about moral values, an important issue to the player, Howland vehemently states he believes gay marriage is okay. Prospect will ask Howland why take him to a Chic-Fil-A, he will answer “I love their meat”.

8: For 1 reason or another playing for the Binghamton Bearcats has become a destination sport for top talent. Future Binghamton head coach Stan Van Gundy will unveil a new mascot hoping it connects with young people. Gone will be the bearcat and in its place will be Theodore M. Ruxpin.

7: Syracuse will have a new head coach in 2018. Jim Boeheim will be replaced by Gerry McNamara. Trying to use his celebrity for an advantage McNamara will play up his Big East Tournament run in 2006. His slogan “You only have to be good for 6 games to be a legend up here”.

6: Rocked by the child molestation scandal in 2012 Penn St. University will look to basketball as its new money maker. With Joe Paterno’s statue now gone from the campus university officials will look for a new way to draw recruits in using the schools mythological feel. Unfortunately for them the most famous PSU basketball player of all time is either Calvin Boothe or Joe Crispen. They decided the statue will be of T. Ming Chu(please google him).

5: A coach will use Twitter as a means to recruit 12 year old boys that are projected as future superstars. A new series will debut on NBC called “To Catch a Predator…Basketball Coaches Edition”.

4: Duke’s Mike Krzyzewski will think he is ahead of the curb using MySpace as his social media recruiting device of choice.

3: Rick Majerus will join the cast of the 2015 Dancing With The Stars cast. Hoping to show recruits how cool he is by being an awesome dancer. Majerus, during a wardrobe malfunction, reveals that he isn’t really that fat. In fact he’s been hiding 954,652,621 autographed Keith Van Horn rookie cards. They are all signed “You’re welcome. If it wasn’t for me you wouldn’t keep getting job offers”.

2: Bob Huggins has always been a great recruiter. Trying to use social media to his full advantage Huggins goes all in with Twitter to the point he has actually stopped being known as the real life equivalent of Shooter from Hoosiers.

1: Xavier head basketball coach Chris Mack, trying to show how hip he is, will make a YouTube video parodying a popular song. Oh, wait…

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