College Basketball: 5 Ways to Holdover Until Opening Tip
5 Ways Biding Time Until College Basketball Begins
Sure there is plenty of sports going on right now. The NFL is underway, the MLB playoffs are in full swing, and rumors have it that something called the Lingerie Football League has a....um....product out there. But there is something just beyond the horizon, so close, yet so far away. You guessed it, another season of College Basketball is just a month away.
If you're a college basketball die-hard chances are the time is going by very slowly. It's like the night before Christmas as a child. You know that plenty of toys will be under the Christmas tree in the morning and the excitement just won't let you sleep. You toss, you turn, you count sheep, but nothing helps you fall into a slumber so you can awake to find all the goodies you asked Santa for.
For me at least, the same logic is applied to basketball season. I'm like most of you out there. I love me some football, whether it be the NFL or NCAA. But you see, my heart belongs to another. My heart only has irregular heartbeats for one sport. I only shed a tear for one shining moment(get it, get it?!).
Time can't go by quick enough. Sure, the weekends are fine and go by fairly quick with football. Yet, on the weekdays my soul is as empty as John L. Smith's bank account. Football on a Monday night, fine that gets me by for a few hours. Again on a Thursday, well....Okay I guess. But nothing, AND I MEAN NOTHING, fills up my picture-box viewing time like some college basketball.
A man must find his way to bide his time until opening tip comes though. Simply staring blankly into the television won't make the games start any sooner. Here are 5 tips on how to get by until the season gets underway.
Pay attention to your significant other. Sure, they're probably a huge pain in the rear-end but if you spend time with them now, the fact you're going to ignore them for Triple-Header Thursday will be easier for them to accept. If(and that's a big if) you actually like this person, time should go by really fast. Going to the movies, the park, or for dinner together will only strengthen your bond and make you feel far less guilty when you ignore them from November to March.
If you don't like them, well who cares. Spend time with them. Start using the "Dutch" paying system when going on dates. Anything that will help until the Club St. Pool Cleaners open up against the St. Roy Regal Steamers in November.
Plus who knows, maybe you'll get lucky.
Work out. Chances are you're kind of chubby. I'm not saying that to be mean-spirited but take a look at yourself in the mirror. Can you stand to lose a few pounds? Even if it's only for vanity reasons. It'll sure help you out with ladies(or gentlemen).
If, somehow, you're one of those people who are the pillar of health, good for you. I don't like you but I'm sure the guys at Golds Gym do. If you fall into this category all you need to do is keep on keeping on. Get out those 75 pound dumbbells and do some curls Rocko.
Working out is not only productive and healthy but it will certainly help the time go by so much quicker. In an unrelated note, have you noticed Planet Fitness's ad campaign? So their key demographic is targeting people who don't like working out? Wouldn't that be like an "Adult Only" dating service soliciting Jerry Sanduscky as a client?
Read a book. A real book. Not one of those fancy Kindles that all the kids love. If you don't remember what they look like or what they are this should jog your memory. It has a front AND a back, in between those 2 fancy areas are a bunch of pieces of paper with words on them.
What does a Kindle have to offer? Convenience, so what. Multiple books in 1 easy to carry item, you lazy bum. Talk about overrated.
Not only will reading a book help you learn stuff from time to time but it will also help you pass it. But for the love of Sam Cassell, please heed my advice, read an actual book. A cheap book is like 5 bucks while a Kindle costs a lot more. Which one of those are you willing to take into the urination chamber with you?
Pickle some cucumbers. Yes, you have read that correctly. Who in their right mind likes cucumbers? If you find me a man who prefers them to pickles I'll show you a man with little dignity. It's really a simple process involving some acidic solution and leaving time for the future pickle to ferment.
Not only will this help you solve the biding time issue but it just sounds dirty. When your friend calls you and asks you what you're doing and you reply with, "Nothing really, just fermenting my pickles", the reaction alone will only be matched by eating one of those delicious morsels.
Plus pickles go with everything. From hamburgs all the way to bologna sandwiches, pickles are that extra topping that make everything better. To put it more simply, pickles is that role-player on your favorite team who goes overlooked throughout the whole season. He's under appreciated and taken for granted. But when the time comes for that big 3 pointer with seconds to go, you eat him....wait, what?
Visit Rant Sports
Finally, shamelessly plugging away. Come to the Rant Sports College Basketball website. Sure ESPN will give you hoops news once a month, or CBS will give you direct quotes, and NBC will steal from CBS. But nobody, and I mean nobody, covers the college basketball world like Rant Sports.
With a wide arrange of writers, from the strong-minded to the weak-stomached, Rant can keep you up to date on your favorite hoop squads. Opinions, insight, a terrible satire piece here and there, you'll come away disappointed only a third of the time.
Really, at the end of the day, would you prefer reading generic stories every day? Or are you the type of person who likes to live on the edge, get nasty with their hoops info? If you're the latter, welcome home son, we've been waiting for you.
Oh, and we have some fermented pickles for you....