Dear Michael L. Aresco,
So I’ve read all these reports about the Tulane Green Wave joining our beloved Big East Conference. Mike, I mean Mr. Aresco, I get it. You’re in a tough spot with all those traitors jumping ship and heading to the ACC. But really? What are you trying accomplish by adding yet another(even worse so because it’s a horrible market) Conference USA school to the mix? If the object of the game is to become a mid-major, you are winning by a landslide, sir.
Also, I need more clarity in the direction of our conference. All I get from your press conferences are bland statements. How the conference is not giving up on football and how bringing in “Team X” more than offsets losing traditional powers. Come on Mike, you’re not kidding anybody including yourself. Nobody is buying Tulane replacing the Pittsburgh Panthers.
What is the end game here? What is the goal that we’re trying to obtain as a conference? Where is the mission statement? Tell me why I should look at the addition of something called the Green Wave as a glass half-full maneuver? Please Mike, let me in on this secret.
At the same time I don’t want to be just another angry blindly loyal Big East supporter, I want to offer my help. I’m not incredibly stupid. I figured out how to write an open letter that’ll never see those piercing eyes of yours. What if we try to think outside of the football box?
We still have some of the traditional Big East teams still on our roster. The St. John’s Red Storm, Georgetown Hoyas, Villanova Wildcats, DePaul Blue Demons, Marquette Golden Eagles, Seton Hall Pirates, are all still with us. Sadly for us, and your pocketbook, they are basketball only programs. None of that fancy college football money that we all love so dearly. But that is okay, I promise. Forget about money. We are getting rid of all schools that have a Division I football program. As of this moment, we are talking about saving the Big East from extinction. Extinction Mike, EXTINCTION!
So now we are left without football money, so what. We still have some brand name college basketball programs that play in some pretty significant markets. We got Chicago, Philadelphia, New York, and D.C all on lock down. That’s a promising start. We can also grab some regional teams so the cost of traveling for these programs aren’t that expensive. How about we scoop up the St. Joseph’s Hawks(Although they might not want to leave. At this point the A-10 looks to be a more promising conference), Penn Quakers, and Lehigh Mountain Hawks. Granted, Lehigh and Penn won’t get be competitive on a national relevancy scale but we need bottom dwellers. Honestly, if anybody knows anything about bottom dwelling it’s you.
Look, we have nine teams for our basketball conference already. Maybe only adding one more team will be enough. For real, we shouldn’t be greedy, that’s what got us in this mess to begin with. We have a bunch of big markets down, we have the novelty programs in Lehigh and Penn, what else do we need? A gimmick, Mike we need a gimmick! Darn, to bad we lost the Notre Dame Fighting Irish to the ACC.
Okay, who needs those fighting leprechauns anyway? I know, Mike, why haven’t we thought of this earlier? Let’s make an evil deal with a Russian. We get one of the dozens of New York (loosely) based universities to join our conference, for the sake of this argument lets say the LIU Brooklyn Blackbirds. Have the Russian allow them to play as many home games as possible at the new Barclays Center like MSG allows the Red Storm. Even though the Blackbirds are really a Long Island university who cares, lets defy all logic and use that to become relevant again.
You remember logic Mike, right? Logic, to bad that it didn’t join our conference a few years ago. Maybe none of this would have been necessary.
A person who spent their youth loving everything Big East Basketball related
P.S. This deranged fan covers the Big East for Rant Sports. You can follow wacko on Twitter @JosephNardone