Dan Dakich is the Worst Announcer in Sports

By Scott Peceny
Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

There are very few, if any, people that irk me more in the sports world than Big 10 basketball color commentator Dan Dakich. Somehow employed by ESPN, Dakich has made a living out of talking from his rear and spewing irrelevant criticism whenever possible.

Whether it be the referees (a favorite target of ole Dan), the coaches, the players, or his twitter followers, the former Indiana Hoosiers coach is never without someone to heckle.

As fans at home debate between enduring Dakich’s ramblings, muting their televisions, or moving to Canada to become a hockey fan, Dakich continues talking as if it’s the only way to save our souls.  He’ll blare his negativity over the airwaves at all costs, headset askew, as he ponders how in the world Derrick Nix can’t go right.

Dakich, I’d like to see you go right.

Or left.  Or anywhere other than the broadcast table.

You are the absolute worst sports pundit in history, and I’m hoping that the extensive googling you do of your name will bring these words before your eyes.

It’s not the sound of your voice, or your appearance, or even your bad hair that I so despise.  It’s the cynical and blatantly obvious remarks that come out of your mouth that draw my ire.

Dakich’s new go-to statistic is that “75 percent of all rebounds end up on the weak side.”  He has said this a good five times per broadcast over his last few, and even included a remarkable demonstration of this during the MichiganMichigan State game on February 12.

So Dan, what you’re saying is that 75 percent of rebounds end up on the opposite side of the rim from where the shot came?

Where was this information in 3rd grade co-ed ball Dan?  Oh wait, that’s like the first rule of rebounding.  Which they teach kids one tenth your age.

And remember the illustrious “Dakich Index” that featured the Illinois Fighting Illini as the 2nd-best Big 10 team? LOL!  Dan, do you even know the rules of basketball?

But to Dakich, he can do no wrong, while everyone else does everything wrong.  In Dakich-land, nobody ever makes a nice steal, it’s always a bad turnover.  Nobody hits a nice shot, there is only poor defense.

If you know all, why don’t you go get another coaching job Dan?

Mr. Dakich I’m on my knees.  I’ll let you call all the Horizon League games you want.  Heck, by your estimation, you could still probably play.

Just go away from the Big 10 and let me enjoy my basketball games again.

Follow me on twitter @ScottPeceny

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