Alabama's BCS Championship Trophy Shatters; Conspiracy Theory Time

By Chris Hengst

There’s a conspiracy afoot in Tuscaloosa and the thread starts unraveling with the crash of the 2011 BCS Championship crystal football. Over the weekend, $30,000 in valuable Crimson Tide bragging rights fell to the floor.

To ESPN’s Tide Nation for the gruesome details:

The Coaches’ Trophy from this season’s BCS national title was accidentally knocked off its podium and shattered by a current player’s father whose foot got caught on a rug that sits beneath the trophy display. The Waterford Crystal trophy was on display in the Mal Moore Athletic Facility halls, home to coach Nick Saban’s office and other athletic personnel.

Now, before Alabama does the obvious and accuses said player’s father for being on the Auburn take, let’s consider the ramifications. The Crimson Tide already won the title. Losing a memento won’t stop them from enjoying it or perhaps claiming another five more retroactive national championships.

As much as Paul Finebaum‘s show needs this to be Auburn-related and the radio host may find a way to make that happen, I see no surface evidence pointing toward a War Damn Eagle Trophy Annihilation plan.

There’s something deeper here. Something bigger than Auburn-Alabama (/immediately set on fire by the gods that protect the Iron Bowl).

These crystal footballs originate in Ireland. In the early 1920’s the Irish War of Independence resulted in a pseudo-free Ireland that eventually morphed into a republic. Irish and British forces had it out, probably realized they’d rather be playing soccer and concocted the Anglo-Irish treaty. From across the pond, that seemed to be it and the inconvenience on Americans was rooted in having to learn another capital in Social Studies.

But a war is again brewing and the Southeastern Conference, that bastion of morality and humility, is the backdrop.

Ryan Kelly is a redshirt sophomore offensive lineman from West Chester, Ohio. Jerrod Bierbower is a junior defensive back from Dublin, Ohio.

Founded as a Roman fort, the English version of West Chester has historic military ties while Dublin, of course, is the hub of Ireland.

Kelly and Bierbower might be friends, they might be roommates for all I know. But until Kelly and his mysterious UK cohorts issue a press release denying involvement in a plot to overtake Waterford and reclaim Ireland for British control, how can we know the truth?

At this point, a shattered crystal football seems so minute when the future of the United Kingdom is at stake.

When’s fall practice start again?

Roll Tide.

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