The Los Angeles Coliseum: Friendly To Porn Films Since 2001

Southern California is no stranger to the porn industry so adult film directors managing to find exotic locales shouldn’t surprise. Unless that destination is the Los Angeles Coliseum and it was done in broad daylight…err under the cover of lights at night but still on the turf the USC Trojans made famous. Apparently, a camera crew and performers used the locker room and the grass between the sidelines for a bit of play time (40 minutes worth of footage) that was interrupted, but not stopped by a Sheriff’s helicopter flying overhead. A decade after the release of “The Gangbang Girl #32,” concerned citizens are shocked and dismayed at the idea that people would defy the purity of a field where men draw blood on a weekly basis. All bodily fluids aren’t created equal in the eyes of the public conscience and the only way to move past this horrifying incident is by making fun of it.

So without further delay, here are some puns, one-liners and general dipshittery from yours truly on the Coliseum Consummation.

1. Pete Carroll opened his first season (2001) in Troy with a 2-5 record. One Song Girl dug deep to rally the team.

2. You mean to tell me a sex tape was shot in Los Angeles at the stadium where Reggie Bush starred and Kim Kardashian wasn’t involved?

3. FIGHT ON…BUT PLEASE USE PROTECTION.

4. Now we know why USC holds up two fingers.

5. “You’ve got to win the battle in the trenches.” – “Why are you so stiff? Get your pad level lower.” – “Hit the hole and finish.”

A mouthbreathing columnist somewhere is already writing his rebuke of the Trojan program at this moment. He’ll reference the NCAA sanctions, Pete Carroll ducking to Seattle before the penalties, the bowl ban and former athletic director Mike Garrett’s arrogance. What’s more likely is the guy in charge of the lights that night in the Coliseum saw some ridiculously attractive women saunter up to the gates asking to look around while male performer, “Mr. Marcus” offered him a free copy of the finished product. He might have been young, he might have been lonely but he knew he had a story to tell, one that’s only reaching the public ten years later. And that friends is alright in my book. Take the heat, suffer the consequences but a decade of dinner parties got to listen to this guy regale and probably exaggerate, the time a porno was shot in the Coliseum. Well worth it, in my opinion.

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