NCAA Football

Previewing The Schedule: Week Two In College Football

With Labor Day concluded and the opening week finished, there’s no time to sleep on the college football season. Do that when you die or if there’s too much morbidity, we’ll settle on napping next July. So while the second workout is normally the toughest after a long layoff, this one is akin to pumping plates of brisket.

September 6th (Thursday)

Pittsburgh at Cincinnati

If Paul Chryst manages to coach four quarters and not leave for another head coaching job, he’ll have done a better job at Pitt than Todd Graham.

September 8th (Saturday)

Penn State at Virginia

Mike London‘s Cavaliers are on the rise in the ACC. Their opponent as you may have guessed is not. Virginia’s head coach probably sees this as a statement game for his program and your wager should mirror that accordingly.

Auburn at Mississippi State

Either Gene Chizik or Dan Mullen, whomever loses this early SEC tilt, will have uneasy questions to answer. With no Cam Newton-like quarterback on the field, both schools may struggle to get going offensively while enjoying a booster bankroll that’s $180,000 richer.

Miami (FL) at Kansas State

On paper, South Florida athletes clown a roster of Midwestern preps. On the Wildcats sideline stands Bill Snyder though and if you’re betting against his black magic or his apprentice, Collin Klein, there’s space in Nevin Shapiro’s cell to count your losses.

East Carolina at South Carolina

The completion percentages of the two quarterbacks won’t be nearly as high as the rootability index of the two head coaches. Tape delay the game and let me watch Steve Spurrier and Ruffin McNeill spin stories over a couple of Coors Lights.

USCSyracuse (MetLife Stadium)

Matt Barkley shreds the Orange defense in front of the New York media and you’ll have to pry the Heisman from his soft, wind-swept hands. Lane Kiffin spends the second half recruiting in Brooklyn. I’m not sure whether it’s players or a future ex-wife.

Florida at Texas A&M

The Aggies host the Gators in their SEC opener. Kyle Field will be loud and Florida quarterbacks won’t throw very well. These are things we know to be true. What we don’t know is whether Will Muschamp exits College Station alive when he throws up a Hook ‘em Horns sign with a fourteen-point lead.

Washington at LSU

Keith Price is a sleeper Heisman candidate and he has the opportunity to cash in on that status in Baton Rouge. But come on, Steve Sarkisian might even tailgate a bit before this one. No pressure for a ‘Huskies victory, no reason to pass on the jambalaya and Jameson.

Texas Tech at Texas State

Not so much for the viewing pleasure, it should be another Red Raiders’ blowout but for the broadcast location. Texas Tech made a public stink of the matchup possibly appearing on the Longhorn Network. Had they fought as voraciously to save Mike Leach, this might be appointment worthy.

Nebraska at UCLA

Jim Mora‘s Bruins could post a rebuilding era cornerstone by knocking off the ‘Huskers. Nebraska’s Rex Burkhead already annihilated that piece of concrete with his forehead and Bo Pelini nodded in fatherly approval at the sight.

Georgia at Missouri

The Tigers inaugural SEC tilt includes Mark Richt’s injury/suspension/expectations-ravaged Bulldogs. Boise State’s Kellen Moore torched the 2011 Georgia defense and James Franklin is similarly capable. A Missouri victory means Gary Pinkel is entitled to the obligatory jumbo glass of wine.

Vanderbilt at Northwestern

Intelligent fans discussing things that well-informed college students believe important, namely who’s that hot girl in section 31 and why the hell didn’t you clean the bong last night? If Vandy is to build on a solid 2011, this is a must-win.

Louisiana Tech at Houston

Check your defense at the door, we aren’t letting them in. First team to seven turnovers or sixty-five points wins.

Oklahoma State at Arizona

Mike Gundy and Rich Rodriguez can coach a little ‘ball. True freshman Wes Lunt‘s first road game is only as difficult as he makes it considering his offensive line, receiver talent and running back aid. Still he’s 18, Lunt is as likely to hand the ball off as he is to try and Tweet at a co-ed during the first quarter.