Hey Tyrann Mathieu, Honey Badger Shoulda Cared

By Michael Collins

Follow some basic common sense rules.  Attend a few made-for-jocks classes.  Don’t break the law.  Play football to the best of your God-given abilities.  That’s the formula for someone like you, Tyrann Mathieu, to become a millionaire and retire by the time you are in your 40’s.  All you had to do, was care.

But Honey Badger don’t care.

Now Honey Badger don’t play.

Tyrann, if you follow those simple steps above, then you can color your hair any way you want, because it makes you more fun to cover; you can chirp about how good you are and be as arrogant as you want, because you’ve got the talent to back it up.

But you didn’t care.

Now you don’t play.

Was it worth it Tyrann?  Was the joy of breaking whatever superfluous rules you decided to break worth risking your entire future for? Was there something at the end of the rainbow of your poor choices better than a guaranteed NFL career, and enough money to start your own honey badger farm?

Oh I’m sure some school will pick up on you and let you come play for them, much like Alabama State did for Isaiah Crowell.  But dude, you were playing football at LSU…L-freakin-S-U!  You were at one of the pinnacle football schools, in the premier conference in the nation.  Now you’ll more than likely end up at an FCS school.

You were guaranteed face time on television every single week.  You may still get it, but for all the wrong reasons.

You had scouts, analysts, sideline reporters, fans, teammates and yes…even RIVAL fans…fawning all over you.  Everyone loved to see you do your thing, even those of us who hated you for being so good at it.

You were the national defensive player of the year, an All-American, and a Heisman Trophy finalist.  I guess you were more interested in being interesting.

But, like the shirt says, Honey Badger don’t care.

Hey Tyrann…for the record…Honey Badger shoulda cared.

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