School’s almost in session, and you know what that means: College football‘s right around the corner.
For a lot of you incoming Freshmen, this is about to be one helluva ride for you 12 Saturdays in a row. And you’re going to be introduced to a little somethin’ somethin’ called “pre-gaming,” a euphemism for “drinking before the game.”
Whether you’re at LSU, USC, Florida or Penn State, you’re going to want elixir for a variety of reasons. And, at 10am on a Saturday, it’s not like you’ve got anything better to do. The question is … where to do it? That’s what we’re here for today.
Presenting, the Top 10 College Places to Pre-Game.
10. Your Parents’ Crib
All the amenities of home … except you’re actually home. Raid the rents’ liquor cabinet and invite your friends. This slides up four more spots if your in the South and your folks got themselves a pool.
9. The Booster Bus
Hey, maybe you’re one of the lucky ducks who get invited to deviously plan the next great ‘improper benefits’ scam! If not, I hear the booze is top-shelf, and the fans are passionate. Just like at a Kings of Leon concert! (Not at all like at a Kings of Leon concert.)
8. The Dorms
If you’re desperate, and quiet, the dorms are tremendous place to chillax and whet your whistle. Just watch out for those pesky RA’s! Or one day you’ll be forced to sit in a quiet office and write your mom a letter about how sorry you were for getting caught with a can of beer! (Nope. Never happened to me, never.)
7. The Townie Bar
Sometimes, the best place to escape the doldrums of campus is to get off-campus. Drink with the true, seasoned fans, who still clutch their class of 1978 ring since their intense passion for their Alma Mater precludes them from loving their spouse completely.
6. The Frat House
Perhaps you don’t mind waiting 12 minutes for a beer? Perhaps you’re really, really into MMA? And Drake? With the quality of people who frequent these palatial establishments, and the vibrancy and color of the party guests and housemates, how can you not get pumped for an epic tilt against Southwest Lousiana Tech?
5. The Watering Hole
Hitting up college bars is a crucial part of life, whether you’re a hip young social butterfly or a die-hard fan well past the expiration date. The madness often spills out into the street and next thing you know, you’re chucking the landscaping through a pizza shop’s front window. It makes every Saturday Mardi Gras!
4. The Luxury Box
Too classy for the common folk? Get your drank on aristocratically and camp out in a luxurious, sound-proof suite hours before kickoff. Enjoy watching CNBC and networking with enough upper-crust to land you a VP of Finance job fresh out of school, if your daddy hasn’t already scored one for you!
3. The Academic Quad
If you’re discrete, there’s always a psuedo-party atmosphere going on right outside the classrooms. Frisbee, flag football, flasks and floozies. Everyone’s a neighbor; no one is a stranger.
2. Your Flop House
Party over at my place! Bring your friends together and order up some cases. Fire up your grill and crank the Arcade Fire to 11. Make the last stop on the pilgrimage before the Big House, your house.
1. The Stadium Parking Lot
The food, the beer, the music, the girls, the guys, the fans, the atmosphere in the shadow of the center of the sports universe for three hours. Really, if you’re doing it anywhere else – you’re doing it wrong.
BONUS ULTIMO No. 1 FOR THOSE OF YOU ADVENTUROUS ENOUGH TO ROAD TRIP:
The Grove. (Oxford, MS)
It’s the greatest tailgate place in the entire history of mankind. Why?
John Gorman is a National Columnist for Rant Sports, and one fine gentleman. He lives in Austin, TX and trains baby seals to sing opera. Opinions expressed are strictly his own, and often misinformed. He loves sushi.