Around The Big 12: Week Two

By Chris Hengst

Kansas Jayhawks:

CHAR-LIE WEIS LOST TO RICE. You’re welcome student sections. The Jayhawks thwarted a Dakota directional institution in week one but failed to finish (25-24) the Owls on Saturday. Dayne Crist’s second interception (16/28, 144 yards, 1 touchdown, 2 interceptions) allowed Rice to kick the winning field goal as time expired. The upgrade from Turner Gill is going swimmingly.

Baylor Bears:

It requires a Herculean effort to walk into New Orleans and put it on the Saints but that’s exactly what the Bears did on their bye week. Superman socks, go routes and loyalty to Adidas over Nike were all the rage in Waco. In reality, the Bears probably used Saturday to check in on their would-be litigant partners Texas A&M in their SEC debut. Following Florida’s win, Ken Starr settled the ongoing negotiations claiming, “Yes, this is enough. We’re good.”

Iowa State Cyclones:

After the Cyclones dethroned in-state rival Iowa 9-6 over the weekend, Paul Rhoads upped his career record in Ames to 20-20. That’s impressive on the level of Derek Jeter giving away gift baskets to one-night stands. Iowa State didn’t score in the second half but played defense against a Greg Davis-coordinated offense. I’d feel bad for Iowa and James Vandenberg if not for the university allowing Kirk Ferentz to commit salary theft.

Texas Tech Red Raiders:

Hot seat? Tommy Tuberville laughs derisively at the notion. The Red Raiders made sure Texas State didn’t notch upsets two weeks in a row by walloping the Bobcats 58-10. Seth Doege threw 5 touchdown passes and survived a Billy Gillispie-led practice once. Which is more impressive?

Oklahoma State Cowboys :

Alright, so Wes Lunt’s first collegiate road game didn’t go as planned. Three picks, a 59-38 loss to the Arizona Wildcats and Rich Rodriguez failed to sing “You Raise Me Up” to him after it was over. It was a disaster. Luckily for the Cowboys, no one can take away the recognition of “defending Big 12 champion” until December.

TCU Horned Frogs:

Casey Pachall completed all nine of his attempts, tossed three touchdowns and the Horned Frogs debuted more than $160 million worth of stadium renovations in a 56-0 win against Grambling. So how are the classes? “I am taking it next semester and I know why, (why man?) yea heyy,  – cause I got high, cause I got high, because I got high.”

Texas Longhorns:

The Longhorns welcomed Bob Davie back from the broadcast booth with a 45-0 shutout and a surprise from Bevo in his locker. David Ash didn’t show much in the vertical passing game but his wheels produced a 49-yard rushing touchdown that had Ricky Williams asking, “what took you so long mudflap?”

Oklahoma Sooners:

The Sooners popped eight touchdowns on the ground in a 69-13 mauling of Florida A&M. By the fourth quarter, Josh Heupel’s offense resorted to throwing Damien Williams toward the end zone in order to get the Oklahoma quarterbacks some reps.

Kansas State Wildcats:

Besting a non-conference opponent 52-13 isn’t illuminating for Bill Snyder because he prefers FCS foes. It’s downright frightening though when the victim boasts five national titles in school history. Miami had no answer for Wildcats signal-caller Collin Klein in much the same way Al Golden has no answer for Warren Sapp when he asks, “why aren’t there more personal fouls?”

West Virginia Mountaineers:

Idle and how does Dana Holgorsen deal with bye weeks? The same way you and I do. He’s enthralled by Locked Up Abroad. You watch it from your couch. He’s testing the mule policies in Colombia on open Saturdays.

Chris Hengst is a College Football writer for Rant Sports. You can follow him on Twitter @ShootyHoops.

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