ACC Football: Ranking Tops or Topless Where it Really Matters

By M. Shannon Smallwood
Jason O. Watson-US PRESSWIRE

It’s refreshing to see the Atlantic Coast Conference back in the national chatter around the water cooler.

After a decade or more of just being mediocre and labeled as, “not living up to potential,” the ACC has made a huge impact in 2012.

Yes, let’s all give a big shout out to the University of Virginia Cavaliers and the University of North Carolina Tar Heels as they have made it to the top of the world…

Um, yes…

You heard me right, Virginia and North Carolina…

Oh, you think this is about ACC Football….

Goodness gracious, no!

This is a bigger honor!

The top Public Universities in the United States?

Yes, but that is still NOTHING compared to the honor being discussed here…

Let’s just say that if you are looking for real life attempt at creating your version of “The Hangover”, look no further than the ACC.

That’s right ladies and gentleman, Playboy has honored Virginia as its “Top Party School” and has selected North Carolina as its “Top Sex Life School” of 2012.

The research for this honor was a very scientific formula. Playboy takes a look at the Sporting Life, the Sex Life and the Nightlife of each accredited college and university in the US. They then take the average and voila…. you have a winner!

Virginia came in as a pathetic 16th in the Sporting Life, but rallied for a 3rd-place finish in Sex Life and 2nd-place in Nightlife.

“UVA is a work hard, play hard kind of environment,” Sophomore Politics Major Kaz Komolafe told Playboy. “You can hang out at the Corner, you can go see a house party for Beer Olympics or you can see a band play at the basketball arena.”

There is not doubt, based on this quote, that Kaz is going to have a huge and prolific career in US politics. Bill Clinton and George W. Bush won’t have anything on this cat.

Based on some of the things history has told us, founder Thomas Jefferson has to be a proud man right now. After all, Kappa Sigma Fraternity National Headquarters is just yards from Monticello. Virginia is just following in its founders footsteps.


To be the Top Party School is an honor, but you have to think the campus at Chapel Hill, North Carolina, is in a full-fledged streak-a-ton with its top honor in the field of Sex Life.



How the heck did they even poll this…

Wait… forget that….


“The Tar Heel women posses a trio of virtues,” Playboy said of UNC. “They’re plentiful (outnumbering males 10 to 7), they are beautiful (ranked tops by and they’re progressive.”

Ok… you have most every male’s and female’s attention at this point…

“Ninety-percent of my friends enjoy sex as an enjoyable experience that both men and women are capable of initiating and experiencing,” Junior English Major Rachel Best of UNC told Playboy. “

Now you have the rest of the male’s and female’s attention…

Can you imagine the road-trips being planned by those in there 20’s right now to North Carolina…

The Research Triangle will take on a whole new meaning…


That crossed the line…


So with that, let us all congratulate the Cavaliers and the Tar Heels for a job well done!

The ACC cannot be more proud of this honor.

Especially during the height of debauchery that is ACC Football Season.

Well played Virginia and UNC… well played………


M. Shannon Smallwood has over 10 years experience in sports broadcasting, journalism and college athletics and currently covers ACC Football for Rant Sports.

Follow him @woodysmalls

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