They say football is a dangerous game. For the UCLA Bruins and starting linebacker Jordan Zumwalt, however, the real danger is off the football field–riding a scooter.
Yes, the silent assassin of college students has struck once again. It always seems like a good idea to join the scooter movement at first. You’ll save money on gas, parking will be a breeze and it’s a great conversation starter with the co-eds.
But nobody thinks about the dangers, like having to be seen riding one. Do you know how difficult it is to look cool on a scooter? In short, it’s impossible.
It will be even harder for Zumwalt now after having to get “a lot of stitches” in his head, according to head coach Jim Mora, after getting into an accident near campus in Westwood. It’s likely the crash happened while he was trying to swerve to avoid being recognized while riding on a scooter, but those reports are unconfirmed.
Zumwalt, the Bruins’ fifth leading tackler this season, will miss the trip this weekend to Boulder when the Bruins take on a resurgent Colorado Buffaloes. Mora says that the team will miss “his energy” the most this weekend, as Zumwalt has exhibited the kind of “maniacal effort” that the coach is trying to instill in this team.
Replacing him will be Damien Holmes, who will slide over from inside linebacker to take Zumwalt’s spot at outside linebacker. Ryan Hofmeister will also see the field to try and pick up the slack.
Mora would like to do something about his players riding these ridiculous looking death machines, telling reporters that he’s “not a big fan of motorcycles and scooters,” and looked into mandating his players to stay off of them. He’s trying to build a brand at UCLA of toughness, after all, and nothing undercuts a tough-guy image like riding around on a scooter.
Unfortunately for Mora, that kind of mandate would have been outside his jurisdiction, as the use of scooters is common at UCLA because of the traffic and parking issues surrounding campus. So the coach is asking a higher authority to step in and protect these kids: their parents.
“I think maybe a parent can do that,” Mora said about restricting scooter use,”but I don’t know that it’s the right thing for us to do.”
So parents, it’s up to you. Don’t let your children grow up to ride scooters in college. It’s really putting a strain on Jim Mora’s defensive gameplan.