10 College Football Coaches Who Should Get Coal In Their Stockings
Coaches Who Should Get Coal In Their Stocking This Holiday Season
2012 has been filled with many great moments, especially when it comes to college football. There were a few emotionally moving moments, huge wins, standout players and fantastic coaching performances. But with good, there is always the bad and 2012 had some really bad ones.
Tis the season of giving, and making a list of college coaches who should be getting coal in their stockings instead of candy canes seemed the appropriate (and fun) thing to do.
Whether it was horrible coaching mistakes like Cincinnati’s, Butch Jones’ attempt at icing a kicker which completely backfired, considering the ball was snapped over the kicker’s head a nano-second before he called the time out; re-kick was good, of course. Or that time Paul Chryst lost to Youngstown State in Pittsburgh’s season-opener and his first game coaching there. And don’t forget Joker Phillips losing to Western Kentucky. I also don’t think I need to remind LSU fans about Les Miles playing prevent against Bama in the last series of the game.
It was hard to narrow the list down to just ten head coaches, since there has been some major drama from some of them. So the list contains coaches who under-performed, went on ridiculous tirades or just flat out embarrassed themselves.
Why is the opening a picture of Nick Saban, you ask? Saban and the Alabama Crimson Tide are on their way to the their 3rd National Title game in a four-year span, so clearly he is doing something to deserve coal in his stocking, right? RIGHT?
So here are the coaches who made the naughty list for 2012 and should be getting coal in their stockings.
No. 10 Robb Akey
For 2012, Idaho Vandals coach, Robb Akey became the first coach to get the ax. He was actually fired mid-season, and had previously spent five seasons with the program.
Akey went 20-50 during his time with the Vandals and went 1-11 on the 2012 season. He only had one winning season and after an embarrassing 70-28 loss against Louisiana Tech, something had to give and that ended up being their head coach.
In Akey's losses, he was out-scored 491-164 and the Vandals were near the bottom of FBS standings in offense in every category. Akey may have been a very enthusiastic coach, but unfortunately for him and his job, that didn't translate well with the players on the field.
No. 9 Derek Dooley
When you are brought in to replace a coach that was supposed to be the next best thing at Tennessee, you have your hands full. I won't mention the coaches name in the same breath as the Vols because the fan base is still a little angry at him, but Derek Dooley was brought in 2010 and fans were positive. Dooley had worked under Nick Saban in the pros and LSU and was the then head coach at Louisiana Tech.
His first season with the Vols, he went 6-6, when many thought that due to players leaving and coaching changes, that it was going to be a win less year. They went 5-7 in 2012, but in SEC play they were 0-7. During Dooley's tenure (3 seasons), the Vols were 4-19 in conference. During preseason 2012, many had this being the Vols season to bounce back with the talent they had. All they got was another horrible conference record, a coach on a stool and a fanbase that hired at least five coaches before finding their new guy.
No. 8 Dave Christensen
It's one thing getting mad about a bad call from a referee during a game and letting him know about it, but Wyoming head coach Dave Christensen had another complaint and it went viral.
When the Cowboys were playing the Air Force Falcons, Christensen thought an Air Force player was faking an injury. Instead of just complaining about it on the sidelines, he took it a step further. He got in Air Force coach, Todd Calhoun's face and went to town. After the game, he chased after Calhoun, beckoning Mister [Expletive] Howdy Doody to [Expletive] look at him. And with all the irony in the world, screaming something about ethics. You can watch the video here if you missed it, but a warning, its NSFW and contains the "f word" more than a few times.
Christensen was fined $50,000 and suspended a week for his classless acts at the Air Force game. Did I mention, it was military appreciation week? I didn't? Oh, well, it was. Christensen was probably frustrated because his team was already 1-4 going into the game and the Falcons delivered loss No. 5. The Cowboys finished the season 4-8.
No. 7 Bo Pelini
Apparently the Badgers saw the 3-point spread on the game that was in the Huskers favor and laughed at it, because it was a beatdown, Wisconsin style. Husker head coach, Bo Pelini suffered a 70-31 shellacking by a team he had already beat 30-27 earlier in the season.
Pelini has always been known as somewhat of a hothead, but after this game, I can imagine his blood pressure was through the roof. He either trolled us all by helping a team with 5-losses get to a BCS game or got completely out-coached. Either way, letting a team hang 70 on you isn't a good look.
I guess there is always next year to go for that conference title, Bo. But I feel like that line has been used on repeat when it comes to the Huskers of late.
No. 6 Ellis Johnson
When you are the only FBS team to not win a game all season, you deserve coal in your stocking. Ellis Johnson and Southern Mississippi went 0-12, not only did they not win a game, they weren't even competitive doing so. Their average loss was a score of 37-19.
It was Johnson's first year as the head coach for the Golden Eagles and with that pitiful performance, it was his last. Todd Monken was hired recently to take over and try to fix the losing ways. Anything is better than 0-12, right?
No. 5 Gene Chizik
Remember that time the Auburn Tigers had a Heisman Trophy winner and won the National Championship? The 2010-2011 season wasn't that long ago, but for Tiger fans, it probably seems like light-years.
Head coach Gene Chizik went from being the Auburn savior to the guy everyone wanted to kick out of town. He went 8-5 the season after winning a National Title and to an embarrassing 3-9, losing their last three games by a combined 150-21 in 2012. Yikes.
Not only have the Tigers had an awful season, the NCAA investigators are back. Apparently for allegations of illegal recruitment of a running back out of Memphis. So Chizik leaves the program with a title and a possible mess for everyone else to clean up. Sounds pretty coal-worthy to me.
No. 4 Bret Bielema
If you would have told me that a five loss team would win the Big Ten and be going to the Rose Bowl, I would have laughed at you. Well, this is happening for the Wisconsin Badgers, but that isn't why head coach Bret Bielema is getting coal.
Bielema got his team to a consecutive Rose Bowl and conference championship game just to bail right after to take his talents to the Arkansas Razorbacks. Just a couple months earlier, Bielema commented that the Big Ten didn't want to be like the SEC, which was in response to throwing a fit about Urban Meyer's recruiting players that have already committed to other schools.
Looks like Bielema has to eat his words and learn how to recruit like that real quick if expects to keep up in the all-mighty ESS EEE CEE. He apparently grew up on a pig farm, so he should fit right in.
No. 3 Bobby Petrino
The Arkansas Razorbacks had high hopes going into 2012. Insert the motorcycle crash/scandal to end all seasons.
Head coach Bobby Petrino was involved in a motorcycle crash back in April, and everyone actually felt sorry for him until more details finally started to come out. He at first claimed he was alone, but the police report was showing something different. Before the police could get the news out, Petrino revealed that he had a passenger, Jessica Dorrell, a former Hogs volleyball player and current Petrino assistant. The nail in the coal stocking was that he also confirmed that he had been have an affair with Dorrell, who's fiance actually worked with the football team, directly with Petrino.
The Hogs ended up going 4-8 this season under interim coach John L. Smith, who actually almost made this list. Bobby Petrino is now going to be taking his motorcycle jaunts across Western Kentucky, as it was announced that he would be the new head coach at Western Kentucky University. WOOO PIG HILLTOPPERS.
No. 2 Lane Kiffin
When your team is picked to be the team to finally knock the SEC out of a title, your QB is the front runner for the Heisman and then at the end of the season, you sit at 7-5 and going to the Sun Bowl, some may say you need coal, Lane Kiffin. But he was naughty for more than just his end of season record.
For those of you who don't remember, USC's Kiffin gave one of the most memorable press conferences of the 2012 season without even saying anything other than, "I gotta go". Shame on you media, for asking him questions about his team and a player's status that they were going to eventually find out anyway, they would have rather just heard it from the person in charge.
There was also the players switching numbers in the middle of the game thing and don't forget "deflategate" where an assistant was caught deflating quarterback Matt Barkley's footballs. That was fun.
No. 1 Tommy Tuberville
This one deserves more than coal in his stocking, but we will keep the article on a PG level. Tommy Tuberville went full on naughty this year in his last season as the head coach at Texas Tech. Not that Red Raider fans are complaining about his overnight departure to Cincinnati since in return, Kliff Kingsbury gets to come home.
Tubs had a relatively quiet beginning of the season, even with Tech's defense being ranked No. 1 in the country, seemingly out of nowhere. The spotlight came back to Lubbock shortly after when Tubs slapped/yanked/removed headphones from one of his assistants on the sidelines during a game. Unfortunately for Tubs, but fortunately for the rest of us, the entire thing was caught on film.
Fast forward to just a couple weeks ago, Tubs was on a recruiting trip, and out to dinner with prospective players, excused himself, accepted another job and then went about his business.
The day before he jumped ship, he told Tech athletic director, Kirby Hocutt that he was committed to the University and enjoys his job. The rest is coal in the stocking history.