(Please note… this is not in anyway related to any opinion of Johnny Manziel or any statement Mr. Manziel or the Texas A&M Aggies have made… to our knowledge…)
Dear Aggie Football Nation:
I want to take a few moments to discuss what it means to be Johnny Football so that you may better understand me and my position of awesomeness.
The past six months have been like a dream. It is definitely a long way from carrying that clipboard I did for every snap of 2011. No one knew who I was this time last year. But now look at me!
I play for the hottest team in the best conference in all of College Football.
I’m the first freshman EVER to win the Heisman Trophy.
Have you seen my SMOKING HOT GIRLFRIEND SARAH SAVAGE!!!!!!
So you see, a lot has changed for Johnny Football.
I mean it was like yesterday I was playing video games with my teammates getting shot down by every girl on campus cause they thought I was lying when I said I was the Aggie’s quarterback. Man, I hated being short.
But that was then…
And now there is a lot that I have to live up to day in and day out to be Johnny Football!
So instead of all of you fussing and complaining about me rolling court side in the NBA, making it rain with cash anywhere I go and getting anything I want as a 20 year old, please remember how hard it is to maintain the swag that is Johnny Football.
It’s a tough job guys.
I mean, I had to go on that swimsuit photo shoot with my girl and the Ritz Carlton didn’t have our robes ready for us when we checked in and that made us late for the game that night.
The life of Johnny Football is not easy.
So if you have an opinion on how Johnny Football is handling his new found celebrity, please don’t share it. Cause Johnny Football doesn’t want to hear your opinion until you walk in Johnny Football’s shoes.
Plus, did Texas A&M even have a football team until Johnny Football arrived?
That’s what Johnny Football thought.
But Johnny Football has to keep his girl and his fans happy any way he can. And how that is done is totally up to Johnny Football.
Well, Sarah too… sometimes…
Anyway, I have got to run.
I have a guy who is hooking me up with free tanning for life at Tanfastic and my woman wants me to take her shopping at Von Maur. I just love people giving me stuff!
I love you Aggie Nation!
M Shannon Smallwood is a member of the Football Writers Association of America and the US Basketball Writers Association.
Follow him @woodysmalls.