We’re now three weeks in to the Honey Badger Award for Extracurricular Excellence race and things are moving slowly — but that which has happened has been entertaining.
We have to entrants to the race this week, the Kansas Jayhawks who we’re adding to the board for an arrest, but also the Virginia Cavaliers who we just have to add due to the insanely stupid actions of one of their five-star commits on an official visit.
The Kansas Jayhawks have entered the race on the back of the arrest of linebacker Ben Heeney who was involved in “battering employees” of a local establishment in Lawrence a few weeks back and was cited with misdemeanor battery. The second-team all Big 12 performer is due to appear in court on February 8th.
Our first Honorable Metion entrant is the Virginia Cavaliers, due to the complete stupidity of five-star commit Taquan Mizzell who was arrested for minor in possession of alcohol in Charlottesville after getting hammered at a local bar and kicking at moving cars in an intersection.
Kicking at moving cars.
I guess no one taught Taquan that stationary cars are better targets — especially when intoxicated — but I digress.
Here’s the scoreboard for Week Three:
HONEY BADGER AWARD FOR EXTRACURRICULAR EXCELLENCE – WEEK THREE
FLORIDA GATORS – 1 JESSAMEN DUNKER GRAND THEFT MOPED!
FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES– 1 JAMES WILDER FAILURE TO APPEAR
KENTUCKY WILDCATS– 1 T.J. JONES WEAPON CHARGE
KANSAS JAYHAWKS- 1 BEN HEENEY BATTERING BOUNCERS
VIRGINIA CAVALIERS- 1 TAQUAN MIZZELL ATTACKING MOVING CARS!
So far, the HBAEE race has a distinctly Southern feel, but something tells me this won’t last forever.
Everyone have a great weekend and please, only kick stationary cars.