It’s everyone’s favorite time-waster the Honey Badger Award for Extracurricular Excellence — as we enter Week Six of the race.
Week Six saw few incidents, but those we did see were pree-mo.
Thanks to a coordinated, four-man power play from the Alabama Crimson Tide, we have a new leader at the top of the board!!
Four Tide football players — er, ex-football players — Brent Calloway, D.J. Pettway, Tyler Hayes and Eddie Williams — were arrested for burglary and debit card abuse after beating a few fellow students, stealing their debit cards, and using them to go on a vending machine spree.
Each of the four has been permanently suspended from the Tide football team — and rightfully so. It’s not at all surprising they were given the boot, especially considering none of them was an impact player. Methinks things could have looked much much different if this was T.J. Yeldon or Amari Cooper.
Just a hunch.
As a side-note, Arkansas Razorbacks defensive end Austin Flynn was arrested for a garden variety DWI and no proof of insurance on the 12th. Ho-hum.
HONEY BADGER AWARD FOR EXTRACURRICULAR EXCELLENCE – WEEK SIX
ALABAMA CRIMSON TIDE– 4 FOUR MAN ASSAULT FOR SNACKS
FLORIDA GATORS– 2 JESSAMEN DUNKER GRAND THEFT MOPED!
LEW CHEZ PURIFOY WIT THA MARY JANE
WAZZU COUGARS– 2 LEON BROOKS GARDEN VARIETY DUI
DREW LOFTUS PANTSING TEQUILA
ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS– 1 AUSTIN FLYNN GARDEN VARIETY DWI
FLORIDA INTERNATIONAL PANTHERS– 1 PRINCE MATT REEFER TIME
FLORIDA STATE SEMINOLES– 1 JAMES WILDER FAILURE TO APPEAR
KANSAS JAYHAWKS– 1 BEN HEENEY BATTERING BOUNCERS
KENTUCKY WILDCATS– 1 T.J. JONES WEAPONS CHARGE
TEXAS LONGHORNS– 1 CONNOR BREWER DORM ROOM M.I.P.
TEXAS A&M AGGIES-1 KIRBY ENNIS GUN CHARGE
USC TROJANS– 1 JUNIOR POMEE GRAND THEFT APPLE PRODUCTS!
Come back and pay us a visit every Friday in the off-season through August 1st as we track the collective idiocy of the country’s gridiron greats!